Early in February JDK closed on his house and walked away with over $100k in cash. I am not privy to the exact amount that he received.....I think it was more like $115-135..... at least. The point is he aint broke, not even close.
About a week later I briefly, and ever so gently, brought up the subject of him helping pay bills around here and how we might set that up. At the time he was busy or something (brushed me off?) and the discussion lasted a minute or less and resulted in nothing. I dropped it, choosing instead to give him a chance to resurrect the conversation (like a good guy), which he never did.
The month of February passed and he contributed $-0- ZERO dollars to our household. Meanwhile, I ordered some furniture for the basement (approx $800) and took the girls on a ski trip to Colorado, paid $150.00 for Beanie to join Girls On The Run AND paid all the household bills.
I had originally planned to open a new joint checking account that we would both pay into and then pay the household and kid bills out of. It was a super fair and partner-ish way to do it. I even envisioned us having a surplus to spend on fun family outings.
He never seemed to really care how it all worked out (nor want to discuss in the past year) so at some point I changed my mind and decided that really, if I am honest with myself, he isn't functioning as a spouse / partner and I need to quit treating him like one when he doesn't deserve it. It is obvious he will take advantage of me financially if he can which is a blatant demonstration of how he has no real commitment to me.
So, I tallied up what half the bills would amount to...rounded UP heavily and told him he could just pay me that amount in "rent" on the first of every month. I just emailed him today "hey, it's the first and time to pay your rent" He said he would give me a check tonight.
Am I just being petty and pissy or is this really a huge issue. I feel if he respected me and our relationship he would have volunteered to pay bills for February and been proactive in establishing the process going forward instead of just hanging back and waiting for me to make a move. RIGHT?
My new plan has me coming out ahead monetarily $.
I can justify it and not feel too guilty because: I pick up all the small expenses, I pay for all the kids clothes, etc., he doesn't pay me the child support he is court ordered to pay and he doesn't have to actually pay all the bills (physically that is) just hand me a check once a month. I do all the administrative duties so he doesn't have to. It wasn't my first choice but he twisted my arm. So...if I profit I can label this a WIN-WIN.
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In other news.....I lost my health insurance today. I have been busting my ass with basically 3 part time jobs just in case something like this happened. I have options but still, it sucks. Stewing on the best way to handle it.
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