If you aren't a full time employee for a larger more lucrative company you probably understand the struggle to obtain and afford health insurance.
I had 3 options this year. Two of which would have cost me $1000 / month in insurance premiums just to cover me. That is only a few dollars less than my house payment! I honestly can't imagine actually paying that every month even if I never saw a doctor.
If I were dirt poor I could get free healthcare. If I was upper middle class or rich I would pony up $1000 a month and not think twice. I mean insurance is important. I am a responsible adult. I would feel irresponsible to just go without. Hell, with my luck, I would surely come down with cancer if I didn't have insurance. I do have a house and some saving so I could lose everything I worked my whole life for if I should get a serous illness without any insurance.
I figured out I could get my insurance through the ACA (Affordable Care Act). Technically you are not supposed to use the ACA for insurance if you have other options. But my other options weren't totally legit.
So....I signed up for the cheapest plan I could find since I haven't been to the doctor more than once a year for the last decade. My cost is $550 / month, still high but almost half of the other options. The catch is, it won't cover prescriptions and it has a $7000 deductible. If I never need to see a doctor the deductible is not an issue. I figured out that I could get my blood pressure medication from Wal-Mart for $20 a month with out insurance!
I thought the problem was solved.....
Then came the knee injury (of course it did). With all the doctor visit (which I worked hard to limit) and the surgery the total expense is just a bit more than $7000. I have no doubt insurance companies know that most people will not spend more than $7000 a year and thus they won't have to pay a dime. On top of that they have tried to deny my MRI, my anesthesiologist and a bill for equipment used in surgery. I will have to call them and challenge these denials. I have learned the hard way that if you make a stink they will usually reverse the denial. It's just another game they play so they don't have to pay the claims. Imagine how difficult this is for people who don't have the time or the ability to make all the phone calls and put up a fight, old people, really sick people, people who don't speak English well, all these people are at a huge disadvantage. Meanwhile the insurance companies make record profits and pay their CEO's millions.
This year I will spend about $15000 on healthcare between my insurance premium payments and all my actual medical bills. That is 1/3 of my income. That is an impossible amount to expect most people to pay. I am lucky that I have savings and someone to help pay the household bills. I can probably pull this off this year.....but what about next year?
At the same time JDK finds himself in the same situation with his knee surgery. He is spending about $15000 out of pocket. So that is $30k this year for our household and we had a couple of fairly simple, routine surgeries. Imagine if we had cancer, kidney failure or some other major medical condition. It would wipe us out.
I am truly fearful of how we will survive the next few years with this "insurance" system and even worse, what will we do when we are older or want to retire if things don't change? Our parents have pension and guaranteed insurance from their life long careers, an option that is no longer available to most all Americans. Thank God they are taken care of.
But, what will our old age look like? Poverty despite our college degrees and a life of living frugally and making a good wage? Why the hell do the insurance companies get to rob me of my life's savings?
Wednesday, September 18, 2019
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
Walking (part 3)
Before I even left the doctors office I texted JDK and my boss. They were both shocked and relieved as well.
I drove home feeling almost high from the excitement / relief. I was scared for surgery but elated that I would be able to walk again or maybe even run.
That night I slept like a log for the first time in months. My anxiety about what life was going to be like if I it really was just a bad knee that couldn't be fixed and I would spend the rest of my life limping was gone.
After a few days the euphoria wore off and it hit me that the doctor would not have found the tear if I had not asked to see the slides. Later a friend explained that the tech reads the MRI and writes up a summary and the doctors don't usually look at the actual pictures, they just read the report.
I started to get angry. Angry that the tech could have missed it. Maybe the tech should be reprimanded? Angry that it took 3 doctors and a whole lot of pushing to be taken seriously. Angry that because I wasn't young or injured in a dramatic accident (think taking a huge hit during a soccer game) the medical community just assumed it was arthritis. Heck, later the doctor assistant guy showed me the pictures from the surgery and told me my arthritis isn't even that bad!
Another thing I figured out was that because it never really swelled much they assumed it wasn't injured. But I have never been a sweller. I didn't get fat fingers when I was pregnant. I just don't swell easily. In hind sight I should have told them it was really swollen most of the time and it was a fluke that it wasn't very swollen the day I was in the office.
Anyway, they did the surgery. Turns out it wasn't detached, it was just a tear so they cut off the flap. A fairly simple surgery with an easy recovery. I went to PT a couple of times and started going to the gym regularly. I have been cycling and walking and my knee feels better every day.
The biggest problem I have been faced with is the atrophy of the muscles from basically not walking for months. I only walked when absolutely necessary from the time the shot wore off until after surgery. After my first long walk (3 miles) I was actually sore....from walking.....just walking around chatting with my friends.
The other day I walked all over the Home Depot store and it filled me with joy to be able to do my shopping and look around and not be plotting the shortest route to get me off my feet again.
Walking is important people!
Last weekend I finally got my road bike out and did a hilly 20 mile ride. My knee was fine and my pace was impressive given that I haven't ridden hills in a year. I have been riding the flat trail a lot. Hardest part was breathing. No cardio endurance at all.....but that will come back.
I drove home feeling almost high from the excitement / relief. I was scared for surgery but elated that I would be able to walk again or maybe even run.
That night I slept like a log for the first time in months. My anxiety about what life was going to be like if I it really was just a bad knee that couldn't be fixed and I would spend the rest of my life limping was gone.
After a few days the euphoria wore off and it hit me that the doctor would not have found the tear if I had not asked to see the slides. Later a friend explained that the tech reads the MRI and writes up a summary and the doctors don't usually look at the actual pictures, they just read the report.
I started to get angry. Angry that the tech could have missed it. Maybe the tech should be reprimanded? Angry that it took 3 doctors and a whole lot of pushing to be taken seriously. Angry that because I wasn't young or injured in a dramatic accident (think taking a huge hit during a soccer game) the medical community just assumed it was arthritis. Heck, later the doctor assistant guy showed me the pictures from the surgery and told me my arthritis isn't even that bad!
Another thing I figured out was that because it never really swelled much they assumed it wasn't injured. But I have never been a sweller. I didn't get fat fingers when I was pregnant. I just don't swell easily. In hind sight I should have told them it was really swollen most of the time and it was a fluke that it wasn't very swollen the day I was in the office.
Anyway, they did the surgery. Turns out it wasn't detached, it was just a tear so they cut off the flap. A fairly simple surgery with an easy recovery. I went to PT a couple of times and started going to the gym regularly. I have been cycling and walking and my knee feels better every day.
The biggest problem I have been faced with is the atrophy of the muscles from basically not walking for months. I only walked when absolutely necessary from the time the shot wore off until after surgery. After my first long walk (3 miles) I was actually sore....from walking.....just walking around chatting with my friends.
The other day I walked all over the Home Depot store and it filled me with joy to be able to do my shopping and look around and not be plotting the shortest route to get me off my feet again.
Walking is important people!
Last weekend I finally got my road bike out and did a hilly 20 mile ride. My knee was fine and my pace was impressive given that I haven't ridden hills in a year. I have been riding the flat trail a lot. Hardest part was breathing. No cardio endurance at all.....but that will come back.
Wednesday, September 11, 2019
Walking (part 2)
I called the only orthopedic group in town that takes my insurance and begged for a new doctor. I asked for a knee doctor, a sports doctor. Anyone besides the last asshat who wouldn't listen to a word I said. I actually had to get the jerky old doctors permission to switch!
On June 19th I saw a new doctor. This time I was going to impress on him that walking was scary, that my knee would give out, that my knee swelled up like a bowling ball, etc.
He didn't seem impressed UGH!.....but agreed to order an MRI. I could tell that he didn't think anything was really wrong either, but I put my faith in the pictures and hoped the MRI would finally show them I had a real issue and needed help.
The day he called with my results I wasn't by my phone and when I called back he was gone for the day. (do any doctors actually work all day on Friday?) I had all weekend to strew. His message was certainly not the "We found it" I had hoped for so I was scrambling for what to do next.
I researched knee issues and decided it was probably a meniscus issue but assumed that would show up on an MRI. I memorized the terms listed for Meniscus tear symptoms so I would use the right words. On Monday I finally got a hold of the doctor who was still being all meh about it. I complained of the popping and the pain and mostly my inability to walk without fear of my knee collapsing. I stressed that "I am too young to give up walking!" He finally said it might be a good idea to talk to a surgeon just in case I needed arthroscopic surgery. I said I'll take it. (in hind sight I think he wanted to shuffle me off so he didn't have to deal with me)
The office phoned me to make another appointment, this time with a true knee surgeon. Surely this guy would see the MRI, find the issue and things would be better. It was another couple of weeks before I could get in to see him. In the meantime I asked my Facebook friends if he was a good surgeon and happily found him reliable.
At this point it is mid July. I have been in pain since mid January. I have not walked right since the cortisone shot wore off in mid April. I have not slept well in 6 months due to pain.
I arrive on time for my appointment and a nurse ushers me back. She sets me down in the exam room and starts asking me questions. This time I brought a list of symptoms, a time line of events, as well as a list of what i think it is and what my goals are. GO ME!
She takes her notes and leaves and another fellow shows up. It's Dan the doctors assistant. He asks me all the same questions again. At this point I'm feeling like they are just giving me some attention so they can let me down easy with the same old story that it is just arthritis.
Finally the surgeon came in.....asks me all the questions AGAIN. I run him through my notes. He does a quick exam and says the popping is from arthritis. By now my hopes that they found the issue have faded and I am feeling very let down and desperate. I asked him to see the x-rays and the MRI. So he runs and gets his laptop and shows me the x-rays first. He make a huge point of showing me the arthritis. Yea, yea...I know I have arthritis but I had that in December and I could still run. Grrr
Next he shows me the MRI. He flips through each slice pointing out the arthritis again and then he starts to show me where the meniscus is. I know where it is because I studied the internet before I came in but I diligently listen as he points to the gray photos. Then, all of a sudden he points to the inside of the meniscus and shows me a spot that is darker. He says "looks like your meniscus is detached on the inside. No wonder you have been in pain!"
The relief that washed over me was palatable and I thanked him profusely for finding the issue. He wanted to get me scheduled for surgery the very next week. I was overwhelmed with emotion. My heart was racing and I may have started crying a bit. Finally, FINALLY, proof that I was really injured and not being a whiny old lady with arthritis!
On June 19th I saw a new doctor. This time I was going to impress on him that walking was scary, that my knee would give out, that my knee swelled up like a bowling ball, etc.
He didn't seem impressed UGH!.....but agreed to order an MRI. I could tell that he didn't think anything was really wrong either, but I put my faith in the pictures and hoped the MRI would finally show them I had a real issue and needed help.
The day he called with my results I wasn't by my phone and when I called back he was gone for the day. (do any doctors actually work all day on Friday?) I had all weekend to strew. His message was certainly not the "We found it" I had hoped for so I was scrambling for what to do next.
I researched knee issues and decided it was probably a meniscus issue but assumed that would show up on an MRI. I memorized the terms listed for Meniscus tear symptoms so I would use the right words. On Monday I finally got a hold of the doctor who was still being all meh about it. I complained of the popping and the pain and mostly my inability to walk without fear of my knee collapsing. I stressed that "I am too young to give up walking!" He finally said it might be a good idea to talk to a surgeon just in case I needed arthroscopic surgery. I said I'll take it. (in hind sight I think he wanted to shuffle me off so he didn't have to deal with me)
The office phoned me to make another appointment, this time with a true knee surgeon. Surely this guy would see the MRI, find the issue and things would be better. It was another couple of weeks before I could get in to see him. In the meantime I asked my Facebook friends if he was a good surgeon and happily found him reliable.
At this point it is mid July. I have been in pain since mid January. I have not walked right since the cortisone shot wore off in mid April. I have not slept well in 6 months due to pain.
I arrive on time for my appointment and a nurse ushers me back. She sets me down in the exam room and starts asking me questions. This time I brought a list of symptoms, a time line of events, as well as a list of what i think it is and what my goals are. GO ME!
She takes her notes and leaves and another fellow shows up. It's Dan the doctors assistant. He asks me all the same questions again. At this point I'm feeling like they are just giving me some attention so they can let me down easy with the same old story that it is just arthritis.
Finally the surgeon came in.....asks me all the questions AGAIN. I run him through my notes. He does a quick exam and says the popping is from arthritis. By now my hopes that they found the issue have faded and I am feeling very let down and desperate. I asked him to see the x-rays and the MRI. So he runs and gets his laptop and shows me the x-rays first. He make a huge point of showing me the arthritis. Yea, yea...I know I have arthritis but I had that in December and I could still run. Grrr
Next he shows me the MRI. He flips through each slice pointing out the arthritis again and then he starts to show me where the meniscus is. I know where it is because I studied the internet before I came in but I diligently listen as he points to the gray photos. Then, all of a sudden he points to the inside of the meniscus and shows me a spot that is darker. He says "looks like your meniscus is detached on the inside. No wonder you have been in pain!"
The relief that washed over me was palatable and I thanked him profusely for finding the issue. He wanted to get me scheduled for surgery the very next week. I was overwhelmed with emotion. My heart was racing and I may have started crying a bit. Finally, FINALLY, proof that I was really injured and not being a whiny old lady with arthritis!
Tuesday, August 6, 2019
Walking (part 1)
Last November I ran 100 miles. This used to be the norm, but in the past few years it had gone by the wayside for a number of reasons.
Last December I ran 100+ miles also. (point is I could run.)
Then in early January we had a two day long super wet big snow storm. I volunteered to shovel because JDK was still recovering from a broken ankle. I thought it was a good way to get some exercise since we couldn't drive to the gym or get outside to run or bike.
So for two days, multiple times a day, I heaved big scoops of wet snow off my driveway and side walk. It was fun but it wore me out. It is not a motion that I train to do so, of course, it made me sore.
My knees were bothering me the most but I wasn't alarmed, I know I have some crappy old knees. I assumed if I rested them for a while they would bounce back and all would be fine. But, after weeks of lounging around the house my right knee was still really bothering me.
So then I decided that I would just get back to normal activities and see what happened. Maybe that would bring me back to normal. I started doing my normal runs again but every run was a struggle and my knee just felt wrong. At times it felt like it wanted to come lose or it was lagging behind. It was a weird sensation. It hurt but not sharply. It wasn't swollen so I assumed it couldn't be too serious.
By March my right knee was no better so I finally decided to see a doctor. My appointment was on March 28th in the morning. I gingerly walked in and they took some x-rays. I then sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor. It wasn't long before he burst in the room, introduced himself and did a very quick physical exam of my knee. He assured me nothing was broken, torn or pulled and that it was just old age. I expressed my concern that it was more than that and he quickly shut me down. He ordered a cortisone shot, told me I might want to give up running and then vanished so fast I was reeling.
I left the office feeling ignored and defeated. If this was old age how was I going to manage the rest of my life? I didn't come in because I was annoyed by a little pain, I came in because I was not able to function normally. I was in constant pain, especially when I drove or slept and I was struggling to run at all.
Within 24 hours the shot kicked in and the pain left and I felt so much better. I got back to my normal life and for a few weeks things were fine. I ran with my friends and started to feel healthy and normal again. I was just getting back my conditioning when the shot wore off. It was April 18th when my knee just started hurting again.
The following day I went to the Walmart and ran into an old friend. We chatted for a bit by the exit and then headed to our cars. I then remembered I had some free sandwich cards and decided to share a few with her. I was lightly jogged across the parking lot to catch her when it felt like my knee gave way and I almost collapsed. It was a horrible pain and I was relieved I didn't fall to the ground in front of all the people entering and exiting the store. I limped over to her and she was aghast at my face. I was grimacing in pain and explained I had just hurt my knee. I then limped back to my car and headed home in tears.
A few days later I saw my neighbor in his driveway and decided to run a free sandwich card over to him. As I started to cross the street I realized I better just walk not jog because the knee. I caught him and gave him the card and we chatted for a bit. Then as I turned to come home my body moved and my foot didn't and once again I had the terrible pain and it felt like my knee gave way. This time I couldn't support any weight on it. I stood there on one leg and tried to downplay the situation. I was hoping that once the sting wore off I could hobble home. But after a long while I still couldn't bare any weight. My neighbor wrapped his arm around me and helped me get back home. This was the worst pain of the whole situation. I could not put weight on my leg for abut 24 hours. When I finally did hobble on it. I had to hold my leg just so or it would not work.
Unfortunately JDK was scheduled to have surgery on his knee just two days after my knee shot craps in the neighbors driveway. I dutifully drove him to surgery and put my needs aside. For the next few weeks he recovered at home and I just limped around feeling too overwhelmed to even think about calling a doctor. He could not walk at all so I did EVERYTHING around the house including brining him food and drinks, etc.
At the end of May, I decided I could do a fun group bike ride on the Katy trail (think flat and slow) and afterwards my knee swelled up like a bowling ball. I knew something was really wrong and I needed to get a real doctor to pay attention.
Last December I ran 100+ miles also. (point is I could run.)
Then in early January we had a two day long super wet big snow storm. I volunteered to shovel because JDK was still recovering from a broken ankle. I thought it was a good way to get some exercise since we couldn't drive to the gym or get outside to run or bike.
So for two days, multiple times a day, I heaved big scoops of wet snow off my driveway and side walk. It was fun but it wore me out. It is not a motion that I train to do so, of course, it made me sore.
My knees were bothering me the most but I wasn't alarmed, I know I have some crappy old knees. I assumed if I rested them for a while they would bounce back and all would be fine. But, after weeks of lounging around the house my right knee was still really bothering me.
So then I decided that I would just get back to normal activities and see what happened. Maybe that would bring me back to normal. I started doing my normal runs again but every run was a struggle and my knee just felt wrong. At times it felt like it wanted to come lose or it was lagging behind. It was a weird sensation. It hurt but not sharply. It wasn't swollen so I assumed it couldn't be too serious.
By March my right knee was no better so I finally decided to see a doctor. My appointment was on March 28th in the morning. I gingerly walked in and they took some x-rays. I then sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor. It wasn't long before he burst in the room, introduced himself and did a very quick physical exam of my knee. He assured me nothing was broken, torn or pulled and that it was just old age. I expressed my concern that it was more than that and he quickly shut me down. He ordered a cortisone shot, told me I might want to give up running and then vanished so fast I was reeling.
I left the office feeling ignored and defeated. If this was old age how was I going to manage the rest of my life? I didn't come in because I was annoyed by a little pain, I came in because I was not able to function normally. I was in constant pain, especially when I drove or slept and I was struggling to run at all.
Within 24 hours the shot kicked in and the pain left and I felt so much better. I got back to my normal life and for a few weeks things were fine. I ran with my friends and started to feel healthy and normal again. I was just getting back my conditioning when the shot wore off. It was April 18th when my knee just started hurting again.
The following day I went to the Walmart and ran into an old friend. We chatted for a bit by the exit and then headed to our cars. I then remembered I had some free sandwich cards and decided to share a few with her. I was lightly jogged across the parking lot to catch her when it felt like my knee gave way and I almost collapsed. It was a horrible pain and I was relieved I didn't fall to the ground in front of all the people entering and exiting the store. I limped over to her and she was aghast at my face. I was grimacing in pain and explained I had just hurt my knee. I then limped back to my car and headed home in tears.
A few days later I saw my neighbor in his driveway and decided to run a free sandwich card over to him. As I started to cross the street I realized I better just walk not jog because the knee. I caught him and gave him the card and we chatted for a bit. Then as I turned to come home my body moved and my foot didn't and once again I had the terrible pain and it felt like my knee gave way. This time I couldn't support any weight on it. I stood there on one leg and tried to downplay the situation. I was hoping that once the sting wore off I could hobble home. But after a long while I still couldn't bare any weight. My neighbor wrapped his arm around me and helped me get back home. This was the worst pain of the whole situation. I could not put weight on my leg for abut 24 hours. When I finally did hobble on it. I had to hold my leg just so or it would not work.
Unfortunately JDK was scheduled to have surgery on his knee just two days after my knee shot craps in the neighbors driveway. I dutifully drove him to surgery and put my needs aside. For the next few weeks he recovered at home and I just limped around feeling too overwhelmed to even think about calling a doctor. He could not walk at all so I did EVERYTHING around the house including brining him food and drinks, etc.
At the end of May, I decided I could do a fun group bike ride on the Katy trail (think flat and slow) and afterwards my knee swelled up like a bowling ball. I knew something was really wrong and I needed to get a real doctor to pay attention.
Monday, August 5, 2019
Time
Hello Blog world.
I finally have my work life under control and have some spare time. YAY! Go me.
Sadly, I don't think anyone blogs much anymore. It's a shame. I miss blogging. I miss the systematic fussing over how I feel and what I want to say about it, project, capture, process.
It can be so therapeutic.
AND...it is also a good way to record what is going on so you can reflect on it later.
Ever notice when you look back and read old posts you see things in a different light. That time and space has taught you something. Or that nothing has changed even though you thought it had.
Ever read an old post and think "Wow I thought it was the end of the world and that was just crazy."
Sometimes I find posts about things I totally forgot about.
In some ways it is fun and challenging to go back and sift through your past in the details you felt were important enough to record at the time. It's certainly a unique perspective. LOL
I wish I had recorded more information about the past two years. A lot has happened. A lot of ups and downs. I may still try to put some of them down. We will see.
Lately I think of the perfect thing to blog about at around 3 am. Then, I contemplate getting out of bed so I can make some notes. BUT then I think better of it as I don't want to wake anyone or draw attention to what I am writing about. Then I vow to recall this wonderful idea in the morning but that never works. I wake up and can't for the life of me recall what that fantastic statement I wanted to make was.
I finally have my work life under control and have some spare time. YAY! Go me.
Sadly, I don't think anyone blogs much anymore. It's a shame. I miss blogging. I miss the systematic fussing over how I feel and what I want to say about it, project, capture, process.
It can be so therapeutic.
AND...it is also a good way to record what is going on so you can reflect on it later.
Ever notice when you look back and read old posts you see things in a different light. That time and space has taught you something. Or that nothing has changed even though you thought it had.
Ever read an old post and think "Wow I thought it was the end of the world and that was just crazy."
Sometimes I find posts about things I totally forgot about.
In some ways it is fun and challenging to go back and sift through your past in the details you felt were important enough to record at the time. It's certainly a unique perspective. LOL
I wish I had recorded more information about the past two years. A lot has happened. A lot of ups and downs. I may still try to put some of them down. We will see.
Lately I think of the perfect thing to blog about at around 3 am. Then, I contemplate getting out of bed so I can make some notes. BUT then I think better of it as I don't want to wake anyone or draw attention to what I am writing about. Then I vow to recall this wonderful idea in the morning but that never works. I wake up and can't for the life of me recall what that fantastic statement I wanted to make was.
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