Big Triathlon Weekend

Overall it was a good weekend. I had so much fun with my teammates and the 40 people from our multisport club that participated and/ or watched. Uwe was there but he was fairly nice and we did NOT spend a lot of time together.

I was on a relay team with these two beautiful young ladies and I am proud to say that we won first place in the relay. Full disclosure, there were only three relay teams competing but still we won.

I did the bike portion of the triathlon. It was a hilly sommabich.


Elevation shot from my Garmin.  Those two big climbs in the middle were killers!


Highlights: The camaraderie of awesome friends and team mates. Good conversation with Tater on the long drive to the race. Exhilarating moped ride with John to fetch my ID. Sleeping in a room with 3 other girls and not one of them complaining that it was too cold. Racing just for fun and not taking it too seriously. The excitement of watching amazing friends do their first triathlon or compete against their dad or concur their first half distance triathlon race.

Lowlights: I dropped my chain twice and took a (small) wrong turn on the bike and overall didn’t feel that strong. My poor performance reminded me that I have not been taking very good care of myself this summer. Even worse, I still had the occasional pang of sadness over the loss of my one time best friend. It can be hard at times to be around him yet not be included.

Husband’s behavior this weekend:
Most of the team went down Friday but I didn’t leave until early Saturday morning, mostly to be nice to hubby by staying home another night. When I got up Saturday I did my best to be quiet while getting ready but of course he woke up and was grumpy that I woke him. I couldn’t help but think “gee it would be nice if you wanted to see me a bit before I leave for two whole days”. I didn’t say it though….maybe I should have.

Right before I left I went to kiss him goodbye. He was sitting in bed eating yogurt on crackers for breakfast. I chirped in a playful tone “good thing you are so good looking or I would have to kick you out of bed for eating crackers” I thought it was cute and would perk him up. Instead he snapped back in a grumpy manner “like you never get crumbs in the bed”. I just turned and left. Probably once again I should have said something like “I was just being playful…lighten up.” But instead I opted to leave the room and forget he is alive for two days.

When I returned home Sunday night I asked him if he wanted to see my swag. I started to tell him about the trip and show him things and he sat there facing forward in the bed watching the TV with no volume. He didn’t look my way or say a thing. I asked if he was upset and he said no just tired. I finally just put my stuff away and said “turn the TV back up”. I am sure he was tired because he had biked 120 miles that day while a friend entertained our daughter for him.
I suppose I should have pointed out how his apparent lack of interest in my life depresses me and makes me feel our marriage is a sham. BUT, that sounds mean so I guess I should have thought of some nicer way to tell him how I felt. Still, I just decided if he was tired I would ignore him which would make him happy.

HOWEVER….I get sick of trying to say the right thing to make things better when he seems perfectly fine with the way things are as long as he doesn’t have to watch our daughter too much. George seems to think I need to press for what I want but I am not good at that and quite frankly I don’t want to have train him like a dog. So frustrating.

THE UGLY TRUTH: I really don’t think I will ever be happy with him. I really don’t think he has it in him to be the friend and partner I want. I don’t even understand how he can be so detached. I honestly believe he has way more issue to deal with than I do (part of the discussion in the car this weekend) and he has buried them so deep he thinks they are gone. That being said; I have been asking myself all weekend could I really leave him….could I actually go through with it and I keep thinking I really can’t. As much as I am unhappy, being on my own is just way too scary and overwhelming. Starting over again….no thanks. Forcing my daughter to be shuttled back and forth between two households….can’t do it. I will never leave him; at least not until she is grown up. I plan to tell a very amazing man that I can’t leave and put his hopes at ease. Problem solved.

Riding

My friend Ashton took this photo of us biking Saturday morning. What a nice ride!

Later I hopped a ride on the back of a friends Harley. We had the best time. I am in big trouble folks...I have feelings. (don't lecture me I am not a child)

Ramone's boyfriend moved out. I am overjoyed.

I ran into Rocco's wife while out running Sunday. Happy to report I was not triggered and it wasn't a big deal. Sorry to report my euphoria from above mentioned bike rides contributed to my lack of concern over chatting it up in person with "The Wife".

I love Birdie's belt in the tree!

I bring my dog to work almost every day. This is what happens in between her naps.

Weekend Recap

My dog running along side the 4 wheeler.  Note she is on the left side....trained to heel properly!

Friday after work:
Drove the Bean to the meeting location and passed her to the grandparents. Then I headed to my friend Brent’s farm for some good old fashioned outdoors fun. We grilled, drank beer, rode the 4 wheeler and let my dog go nuts. FUN

Saturday:
Picked up Uwe and met 8 of our friends at a winery about an hour from home. From there we did one hell of an awesome 62 mile bike ride; beautiful countryside and some big old hills. When the ride was over we all had some wine and relaxed outdoors and enjoyed this amazing July weather.

Elevation chart recorded on our bike ride.  see that dagger at the end....that was a killer hill!

Sunday:
Met about a dozen of my running buddies to run some single track. Had the pleasure of running with my ultra running buddy Shawn who is one heck of great guy. I brought my faithful pooch along and she attached herself to Uwe and they had so much fun. I found them after my run wading in the creek together. After the run we all lingered in the parking lot for over an hour. The weather was just so damn nice we could not leave. Eventually we all went to the bagel restaurant for breakfast. I didn’t get home until noon.

new railroad tie retaining wall is on the right >>>

Husband was just finishing up his project, this retaining wall. It looked good and he said he was about to come in and take a shower. I had every intention of jumping in the shower with him until I figured out he had already “taken care of business” while I was gone. That actually made me angry so I took my shower real fast before he came in so I would be sure to get the hot water.

Next he went to pick up our daughter and I just puttered around the house doing my weekly chores. Overall it was a pretty great weekend!

***the new photo at the top of my blog was taken at the winery with my phone!

Saturday Cycling

This morning’s bike ride was windy and brutal. But, after today’s ride I have logged a total of 417 miles on the bike for the month of June!

Highlights from the ride:
1)Ran into George while out biking. Very cool to see him. (Maybe I am paranoid, but he acted weird…..like he didn’t want to actually see me???)
2)Keri dropped her water bottle and we could not find it anywhere. Then, at the last second I noticed it has rolled all the way to the other side of the road and down a ways. I was a hero for spotting it.
3)Made a new cycling friend named Tom. He was very quiet at first but by the end of the ride we were chatting a lot. He admitted to being shy and a bit of an introvert. I think I did a great job of making him feel accepted. I encouraging him to get out more and I even invited him to join our MS150 team. I always feel good when helping others!

After the ride I did a little grocery run and headed home to an empty house. How relaxing!
Beanie was off at a birthday party with a family friend and husband was out on his bike.

I threw on my swim suit and headed outside to lie in the sun and work on my tan lines. I am getting some serious bike tan lines which make my muscular legs look really large. Think brown calves but big white tops of my legs. YUCK! I glob on the SPF 100 when cycling but I still get tan.

About this time Chris called and the phone flaked out and I was crushed that I didn’t get to talk to him. I can’t call him you know.

After about a half hour on each side I deemed my sunbathing complete and hit the shower. Right when I got out of the shower my friend Brent called and we decided to meet for lunch. Brent is a super duper nice guy that I just love hanging out with.  If he were the least bit physically attractive to me we would have a serious problem on our hands, but, alas, not my type in the looks department.  BUT still fun to have a lunch date. :)

Eventually everyone came home and we visited with “family friend” for a long time.

After she left it was just the three of us…….to be honest, I can’t remember what we did. Probably watched TV and went to bed. Husband has been pretty moody lately so I am just staying out of his way for the most part!

Good Busy Weekend

I am so sick and tired of running alone that I got up Saturday morning at 4 am so I could meet some friends for a 5 am run.  However thanks to poor communication I was at the wrong starting location and ended up all by myself anyway.  It was dark and I was lonely and I could only manage to eke out a few miles before I decided to go home and get the dog. 

Once I got the dog, I “ran” six slow pathetic miles and it was all I could stand.  So my total for the day was only 8 ish miles.  NOT GOOD.  I have a half marathon on May 25^th and I need to get my act together.

Next I went to the office so I could work on our taxes.  My husband was self employed for part of 2012 and our taxes are a bitch.  I tried to finish them last Thursday evening but instead left the office in tears because nothing was going right.  We still owed $7000 and I was just overwhelmed.

As soon as I sat down to start working on the taxes again, Friss called so I ended up talking to him for the next hour.  As usual, he and I had a great talk.  We connect on a deep level and share almost all our intimate thoughts.  Being mom I obviously try not to talk about my sex life but other than that, we share EVERYTHING.  It is cathartic to be so open with someone and I really need it because right now, Friss and George are the only people I can “really” talk to.

Around noon I finally finished up our taxes and printed them out.  I owe all the credit to the large hazelnut latte from McDonalds!  I don’t think I would have made it without one.  We still owe $7000 but now I am confident that is correct and in fact, it was even MY fault.  Even better....I don’t care that we owe so much money because we are now done with the self employment income.  Next year our taxes will be easy and will be done by mid February.

On my way home, I swung by the ex husband’s house to pick up Ramone’s Polly Pocket toys for Beanie and to have him sign his state taxes that I should have mailed a month ago.  He was in a good mood because he now has the whole house to himself.  He said it is so peaceful.  Ramone moved her stuff to her apartment Friday night. 

This made me think….I have the time so I will stop by and see how her bedroom furniture fits in that tiny attic bedroom.  I had the presence of mind to call and warn her I was on my way.  I really wasn’t in the mood to be shocked and appalled by what I might find should I arrive unannounced.  (Which I used to do on purpose all the time when she was at home.)  When I got there, the place was kind of a pig sty and there was a boy asleep on the couch.  (At 1 pm.)  There were 3 other boys sitting on her bed watching a movie on her laptop.  She was cooking some pasta.

Looking for something to feel good about, I noted that the boys were all polite to me and the house didn’t reek like smoke, pot or cigarettes.  But still, I just felt sad that she was in a dumpy apartment with a bunch of worthless 18-20 year old boys hanging around.  You know what I mean.

As I left she requested I buy some metal rings for under the electric stove top burners.  She showed me the old ones and they were super gross.  I also noted she had her bathroom throw carpet in front of the kitchen sink and offered to buy her a proper mat to stand on while doing dishes.

Next stop was the grocery store where I purchased a bottle of (not cheap) wine to celebrate my income tax success and headed home.  I queued up Game of Thrones because I had dozed off Friday night while husband stayed up watching.  Once again I needed to catch up.  I often get behind because I do fall asleep early.  In my defense though, I get up early! 

It wasn’t long before Beanie returned home and we cuddled and took a nap together.  After dinner, Daddy and I watched more Game of Thrones.  It is the one thing we do together on a regular basis.  I rent a series from Netflix and after it gets dark outside we pile in bed together and watch it.  (We recently finished Downton Abbey which I highly recommend.)

Sunday morning I made everyone breakfast and Daddy put up the new temporary fence to divide the back yard into two separate areas.  He then spread grass seed all over the side that is to be the dogs. There is rain in the forecast for the rest of the week and he is hoping the grass will take hold.  I am not optimistic and have started pricing sod. 

Around 9 am Daddy went in to work and I took Beanie shopping.  First stop was Wally World where we got supplies for Ramone and purchased some cheap workout tops for Daddy.  He wears size small so I snatch them up if I find them.  Most stores do NOT even carry men’s small because most American men are so overweight.  I spent $50 and nothing was for ME.

Next stop was Kohl’s where we purchased 2 adorable dresses for Beanie; grand total $11 and some change.  SCORE

At noon Ramone came over to babysit so I could do a bike ride with “The Boys”.  I have an old group of cycling buddies who I am trying to network back in with for rides this summer.  These guys are a few years younger than me and darn good riders and right now, I can keep up.  If I continue to ride with them I will be smoking fast by the end of the summer!

We cycled a total of 32 miles at an average speed of 16.1 mph.  It was SUPER windy out so I was very pleased with the ride despite that fact that I may have forgotten to put on sun block and burned my arms a bit.  Oops.

Back home Beanie was really enjoying the new (used) toys and I cooked up some food to pack up for Daddy’s lunches.  After dinner, we went over to Uwe’s for a while.  It was nice to see him.  I just don’t see him much lately and that makes me sad.

Daddy didn’t get home until close to midnight because his boss has some deadline looming.  Poor guy worked all weekend.

Ramone in her apartment bedroom.  Good thing she is only 5 feet tall!

  

GOOD WEEKEND

We had a very good weekend mostly because Husband was so sweet.

First, Friday night I went to some friend’s birthday party and left him in charge of the puppy and our daughter.  I thought for sure he would be mad and grumpy all weekend because of it so I was thrilled that he wasn’t.  At the party we played laser tag….OMG so much fun!

Saturday morning I did my usual long run and again….Husband had to watch both the puppy and Bean for 2 whole hours.  He had to take the puppy outside because she gets pretty rowdy in the morning, but he did a fine job.

Saturday afternoon Beanie attended a birthday party for one of her classmates at the bowling alley.  That was fun and a bit crazy.  I had hoped to sneak out to test drive some cars but there was no leaving.  These kids needed adult supervision!  

She picked out the outfit herself and did her own hair!

 

Saturday night I dozed off trying to watch Sherlock Holmes with Hubby.  It was just boring and I had been up since 5 am.  He didn’t seem too upset with me or act stupid about it.  So relieved.

Sunday morning Husband suggested a family bike outing.  Beanie keeps wanting to ride her bike with us but we both know she will last about 10 minutes and then be done with it so we keep balking at the idea.   This time we decided to bring the trailer so when she ran out of steam we would pop her in the cart and still get in our ride.

I tossed the dog in the kennel and we headed out before 9 am.  (It’s been crazy warm weather here for December.)  Husband had the idea to drive to a little town nearby that we could catch the trail on.  It was a bit farther than I thought we were going but no big deal.  Once there, Beanie jumped on her bike and rode with great glee.  Daddy and I were thrilled as she kept saying she was having the best time and loved riding bikes with us. 

20 minutes later she was crying and would not ride her bike anymore, or walk, or talk or anything.  We tried everything to make her happy again but nothing worked.  The kid just shuts down at times and it is so frustrating.  Finally Husband rode back to the car and fetched her trailer.  He stuffed her into it against her protests.  He finally spanked her after she was just totally mean and out of control for the longest time.  I was proud of him actually.  He tends to let her walk all over him at times and I think it is spoiling her and making her a brat.

From there we headed off biking and she sat in the trailer bitching.  I offered to take her home so Husband could ride in peace but he said NO we need to teach her that she can’t win by being mean and nasty.  He was right so we biked on.  After we had biked for maybe a half hour the girl fell asleep.  I think it might have only been 10 am by then.  This is when I realize how badly we need to work on getting her to bed earlier in the evening.  She needs more sleep!

 

Soon we came to a scenic outlook we wanted to explore so we woke her up and much to my surprise, after some initial grogginess she was sweet as could be.  The rest of the outing was nice and fun and the girl was happy.  We biked a total of about 24 miles.

As we loaded the bikes back into the SUV Beanie insisted we go out to eat so Daddy took us all to Taco Bell.  Sitting there eating it struck me how odd it felt all three of us in a fast food joint.  It was common for me to take Ramone and Monster here when they were small children but this was only the second time Beanie had ever been there.  We eat out so rarely.  She loved her taco and fruit smoothie.

I was starting to worry about the puppy…..we had been gone much longer than I thought we would be.  It was 1:30 pm when we got home and found Pasha was dry and clean and in good spirit.  She of course missed us and mauled us with puppy love but no accidents while we were gone.  She wanted to play and I wanted to get Beanie to take a “real” nap.  I had to lay down with Beanie so I put the puppy outside alone.  Hated to do that to her.

Thanks to her cat nap in the trailer earlier Beanie would not go back to sleep.  I dozed off just long enough to make me grumpy.  I had planned to do some Christmas photos while the weather was so nice, but I knew better than to try if we were both not well rested.  This actually upset me because I knew I wouldn’t get another opportunity in December to take photos on a sunny afternoon with the temperature above 70 degrees.  Hard to believe it is December!

I started to feel agitated because I am rather tired of dealing with a crabby kid and the fact that nap time takes up the best part of the day and that the puppy was getting neglected.  I assumed that Husband would probably want alone time so I plotted to escape to Uwe’s house.  Much to my surprise, Husband actually volunteered to keep the girl so I could get a break.  I left feeling guilty as hell, but still….I left taking the puppy with me.

Once I got to Uwe house we took the dog for a walk but he seemed a little bit odd and I got the feeling he didn’t really want company so I didn’t stay too long. 

When I got home around 7 Daddy was just putting the girl to bed AND he had even given her a bath!   GOOD DADDY!!

I of course gave him sex as a reward.  I think we all enjoyed our weekend which was such a treat.  (Although I’m still disappointed I did not get some nice photos to give Grandma for Christmas or have the time to go car shopping.)

BIKE MS

Today was the big BIKE MS bike ride.  I used to do this fun event every year some years back. Then as I became a better cyclist I started feeling almost selfish about my participation.  Like expecting them to feed me and give me a medal for riding seemed ridiculous.  I mean I was there because it was fun for me to get in a good long ride, not because of my lofty humanitarian goals.  Of course, I gave them the required donations but it still seemed too easy for me.  Some people really get out there and suffer for the cause. (The cheering crowds at the end are just made me feel ridiculous.)

This year I needed an excuse to get in a nice long ride with some old friends so I signed up a few weeks ago. 

Before we started the ride I had a weird thing happen.  One of the guys I was riding with, Tom, was commenting about the purchase of his bike “best $600 I ever spent”.  Another friend told me that Tom had purchased the bike from an old friend who had purchased it from an old boyfriend of mine.  All of a sudden I realized that I was there when that bike was originally purchased brand new.  That I helped choose that bike back in 2002 when it was purchased so my new boyfriend could cycle with me.  It was like a piece of the past had come back to say hi.

Anyway, my friends and I had the most awesome 82 mile bike ride.  The weather was perfect and we just killed it with an average speed of 18 miles per hour.  (I actually got in an extra 4 miles bringing my personal total to over 85 miles because I biked from my office to the start location.) 

Best of all, I felt strong on the bike and had very little pain in my jacked up feet.

As soon as we crossed the finish, my friend Mike saw the beer tent and that was it; we were on to the next activity.  I had one quick beer but then had to rush off to pick up Beanie from Ramone who had been solicited to help husband out so he would not be stuck with her all day.  He too wanted to get out and bike since the weather was so phenomenally beautiful.

I did however go back up to the fairgrounds with daughter in tow and spent the balance of the day socializing with my buddies.   I also had another strange coincidence, with Tom again.  This time he was chatting and mentioned that he used to work at the Rec Center a few years ago.  I asked him if he knew Nikki (my husband’s ex wife) since I knew she too had worked at the Rec Center.  He said he did know her, that she was a bit of a “princess” and that there was some sort of scandal about her but he couldn’t remember exactly what.  I said you mean where she left her husband for her boss.  He then remembered that yes indeed that was the scandal, the two of them ran off to Florida together.  I told Tom I am now married to that guy…..the one that Nikki dumped for the boss.   He was like “WOW”.  Funny, the longer I live here, the smaller this town gets.

Best thing about today was it was another huge confidence builder for me going into the half iron man triathlon, after 85 miles my legs felt fine and more importantly, my feet felt OK!

Labor Day Weekend

So my husband has either found my blog and never confessed or he has an incredible sense of timing.  I’m going to go with the second option.

Saturday was rainy and I went down to visit Friss.  Of course I took Beanie because husband could not be bothered with watching her all afternoon.  We had a great visit other than the fact that a 5 year old is incredibly good at interrupting, so the words “now what were we talking about?” were uttered so many times I can’t count.

On the drive home I phoned husband and he was working on installing a ceiling fan in Beanie’s bedroom.  I was thrilled!  He went and picked one out, purchased it and installed it and I didn’t have to do a thing.  What a nice feeling to have Daddy taking care of us!  (In hind sight he was no doubt waiting for a rainy day to do it and we all know it has been since May that we had one.)

Sunday morning I was supposed to do one last LONG brick before my race and Bob was supposed to join me; however in the wee hour of the morning he texted me that he was feeling under the weather and would not make it. SO I put my bike on the car and did it all by myself.  I wore my new GARMIN 910xt so there was some fun involved as I was trying out a new toy.  Overall it went well.  I started a bit late and rode the first 15 miles in some light rain but by the turn around it had cleared up and I had a tail wind for the last 28 miles.  Total time for my 56 mile bike was right at 3:15 hours.  I am happy with that and hope to do 3 hours in the actual race assuming it is not raining or super windy.

Next it was time to run.  I had planned a 13 mile out and back course.  I successfully switched my Garmin from bike mode to run mode (go me) and headed out.  At first I felt sluggish but figured I would feel better once I found my groove.  Later I decided that I had probably eaten TOO MANY calories.  I was being overly cautious about running out of fuel; lesson learned.  (Husband later told me no more than 300 calories per hour.) Then, around mile 3, there was a construction area that was super muddy thanks to all the rain from Hurricane Isaac.  I tried to pick my way through and not get too muddy but there was just no way.  It took me 10 minutes to scrape my shoes off so I could start running again.  Wow, was I losing steam.  As I kept running on the original course it occurred to me I needed a reroute so I did not have to traverse the mud pit again.  I mapped a route in my mind and switched direction.  At some point I figured out that the new route was not going to be long enough.  I fussed about not making my 13 miles for a bit and then decided I was too crabby, tired and sick of running tocare anymore and just ran back to the car.  It was 11 ugly miles at a 9:30 average pace.  I was hoping for closer to a 9 minute pace.  That is my goal for the race.

I spent the rest of the day puttering around the house.  I drank some beer, did some cooking and napped with my daughter.  I deemed it a successful day.

Monday was a holiday which was perfect.  I needed a day to do my weekend chores and as a bonus, I could actually join my friends for their normal Monday morning bike ride.  After the ride one of the participants always hosts a big home cooked breakfast.  This time it was my buddy who is a police officer so it was kind of fun to see what his place was like.  Also, we ate biscuits, gravy, eggs and bacon.  Wow, best breakfast I have had in years.

After enjoying the company of my friends for a long and digesting a bit I headed home and hubby disappeared down the road on his bike.  I did all my chores and got Beanie down for an early nap.  Around 2 I dropped her at a friend’s house for a play date and I scooted over to the lake to swim with my new Garmin on.  It was pretty cool to finally get a real reading on how long it will take me to swim 1.2 miles.  It was 48 minutes.  So I am estimating it will take one hour or less in the actual race.

So let’s add this up:

Swim – 1 hour

Bike – 3 hours

Run – 2 hours

Total = 6 hours  = BEST CASE!!  If I do this thing in anywhere near 6 hours I will be THRILLED.

I will be disappointed if it takes me more than 7 hours.  So that is the goal, under 7 hours.

Biking, Birthdays and Electronic Failures

Friday I picked up Beanie and headed straight home.  Husband arrived right after me with groceries and a 6 pack.  I think he was willing to share, but I am not drinking because I am trying to take my training VERY seriously as this point.  Thing to note is he came right home which is a nice thing and doesn’t seem to happen very often.

I am not sure if I mentioned it here on this blog yet, but I DID actually sign up to do the Half “Ironman” distance triathlon at nationals.  That will consist of a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike and then a 13.1 mile run.  The race is September 22 and now that vacation is behind me and husband is on the mend, this race is my focus for the next seven weeks.

Anyway Friday we had a good evening.  I don’t remember the details but I do remember thinking Husband was fairly pleasant.  I should also point out that he got his stitches out last Tuesday and he got his case off on Wednesday and they cleared him for normal activity as long as it doesn’t hurt

Saturday first thing I ran 10 miles with Stina and then biked 51 miles with Uwe.  It got really steamy by the end and Uwe was whining like a girl.  As soon as we finished I went home to eat and see my Bean.  We tried to nap but I failed to get her to sleep.  She was a wreck the balance of the day.

Husband however was pretty agreeable and interactive so again I was happy about that.  I kept thinking “if he was like this all the time and a romantic once in a while I would be perfectly satisfied with my marriage.” 

Then I had to go and push my luck.  Around 6:30 I asked if he would mind if I rode my bike again on Sunday morning, just for a couple of hours, I would be home by 9 a.m. at the latest and I even promised to clean the basement floor which is something he had mentioned was past due.  He then became cold and distant and avoided me the rest of the night.  I asked him several times what was wrong and even offered to skip the ride if it would cheer him up.  He had no interest in discussing it and forged ahead in full asshole mode, so I just ignored him back after my initial attempts at being a good wife and discussing what I viewed as a sudden mood change I might have created. 

I thought about what was really wrong and I decided he was just jealous because he can’t bike due to his broken wrist still being tender.  I also decided that it is ridiculous that he is so childish and selfish that he has to go pout because I am training.  He has to treat me coldly because he can’t have all the fun he likes AND, he is the one that wrecked the motorcycle causing the injuries so I don’t think I deserve any of it.

Sunday morning I showed up for the group ride and no one was there.  My rotten cell phone texting was not working or I would have known that the ride had been cancelled.   However, since I was out anyway I decided to do hill repeats on my own.  I went to my favorite hill and rode up it several times drinking in the fresh morning air as the sun rose up over the rural countryside.

I went ahead and wore my iPod (which I rarely do on the bike) because it was so early and remote I knew there would be very little traffic.  I really enjoyed my “me time” on my bike and my legs are pretty darn sore this morning.  Good sore of course.

After the ride I threw on my running shoes and headed out to run…..I was about a half a mile into it when my iPod froze up.  It was playing but the controls quit working.  I stopped to tinker with it and turned it off then it would not come back on.  I wasn’t in the mood to hear myself breathing and my feet hitting the pavement so I only ran 2 miles and then called it a day.  Why are all my electronics crapping out on me?

On the way home I stopped at Target and purchased a new iPod.  It makes my runs so much more pleasurable to have some peppy music.  I have been advised that you are not allowed to wear music in a triathlon or they will disqualify you.  This makes me sad since I know it is going to make the half tri in September even harder on me.

Sunday afternoon me and Beanie took naps and then attended a birthday party/pool party for one of Beanies classmates.  It was lots of fun.

 

We arrived back home around 6 p.m. so I watched 60 minutes and then the Olympics.  Husband was not bad but not good.  He was pretty much doing his own thing until around 9 when he came and watched TV with me until 10 and then he went to sleep.  You know he does not kiss me good night unless I ask him to.  I hate that.

4th of July and The Day After

I am having a great day.  I am really happy.  All is good in the world.

I had a really good 4^th of July holiday. 

GREAT BIKE:  I started with a 65 mile bike ride (avg pace 18.5).  I rode with a group of friends and at one point we tucked into a faster group (Cat 1 racers) for some really fast fun.  At the turn around my average was 21 mph and that’s kicks ass; especially since I was talking and having fun on the ride not killing myself to keep up.  The ride back was a bit rough with a head wind and it getting hotter by the minute outside but we all pulled together to get her done.

I was off my bike by 11 am and headed home so Husband could get on his bike.  He was out from 1-5 pm, the hottest part of the day and never complained, bless his heart.  The high temperature was over 100 degrees as it has been now for something like 10 days in a row.   He says he did about 75 miles on the bike.  Man is steel!

BTW - this endless heat and no rain is getting VERY old.

GREAT FIREWORKS: I took an afternoon nap with Beanie and we were still wide awake at 8 pm when it was time to roll out for 4^th of July fireworks which we had the pleasure of viewing on the roof of a friend’s office building just a few blocks down from where the fireworks were being deployed off the roof off a parking garage.

Way cool.

Stina, Me, Beanie and Husband watching the fireworks from rooftop!

GOOD HUSBAND: Husband was pleasant and agreeable all evening.  My only complaint (and its super minor) is that he insisted on going into McDonalds to get a few burgers rather than taking the drive though even after I assured him it would be MUCH faster.  Our local Mickey-Ds has such a fast drive though that it actually irritates me because I don’t have time to get my money out and ready and then I get to the window and they are already holding the bag out.  (Unless you order a fancy coffee)  Seriously I have been through that drive through and my car never came to a full stop after I placed my order.  

GREAT RUN: We stayed up past bedtime (of course) last night so when the alarm woke me at 4:45 this morning I was kind of hating life.  I shuffled into the bathroom and put on my running clothes and tried very hard to wake up.  I was still feeling like a zombie when I got to the trail head at 5:25 am.

Today we did the Rain Run route and it is one of my favorite courses to go fast and challenge myself on.  As we started off down the trail everyone was tired.  Many had done the 65 mile bike with me yesterday but some had done more (100 miles) and others had competed in a running race.  Of course there were people who were just hung over and stayed up too late as well.   So NO ONE was in the mood to be too darn zippy this morning.  We all lumbered along chatting and commenting how tired and sore we were.

After a 2 mile warm up some of us started to come back to life.  I finally put my ear buds in and cranked some tunes and settled in for a real run.  I followed the boys on the B route which is .5 miles shorter than my normal route.  I am happy to report that my pace got better with every passing mile and I ended up with an overall average pace of 8:27 (my goal is under 8:30) so I was just thrilled.

FINALLY FOUND A DENTIST I LIKE: As soon as my run ended I had to blast home and shower and get to the dentist by 7:30.  I have been struggling to find a dentist I like for years now, ever since I was pregnant actually.  I am very happy to report that my check up went well and I have finally found a dental home.  Finally I can relax and get my teeth back in order.  (Just one crown that needs to be replaced.)

HAPPY JULIA IS BACK:  After the dentist I phoned Julia.  We have really been in different worlds for a while.  She was all hooked up with a guy that was just a total A-whole.  Well, I am thrilled to report that she finally left him and I could not be happier for her.  She has a lot of issues to sort out since they were in business together and living in his house, etc.  But, it is for the best.  All the other stuff will work out.

BLOW OFF DAY AT WORK:  I got to work a bit late and the place was practically empty.  Lots of folks on vacation and the atmosphere is just so relaxed.  I love it. I am so goofing off all day.

BLOG LOVE:  I read Eden’s blog today.  I really do love that woman.  I have never even met her but I love her blog so much.

FUN PLANS AHEAD:  Tomorrow after work I leave for a mini vacation to do a race Saturday morning in a small town a few hours away with some good friends.  Looking forward to just getting away for 24 hours or so.

Saturday night I am planning to attend a huge wedding celebration for some friends who recently got married.  Should be a blast.

Life is GOOD!   No........LIFE IS GREAT!

Cycling IS Therapy

Last week, my husband rode his bike to work on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday! On one of these days, he took the long way home which made his commute 2 hours long. He came in the house with a big smile on his face obviously feeling very happy. He proclaimed out loud that he “loves me so much more when he can ride his bike!” I was thrilled to see him so chipper.

Later in the evening I decided to ask more questions to better understand what he meant by his boisterous comment. He told me that he has to get his aggressions out to be happy and at peace. That cycling is where he can exercise his demons; that it is his much needed therapy. To a certain extent I can totally relate because cycling is good for my mental state as well.

It is true; when he does not get to work out, be it running, cycling or lifting, he is a moody, depressive person. He manifests these negative moods by not speaking to me, avoiding me and sending out a general negative vibe if I try to interact with him. If he does get to do his favorite things…..have his “me time” he is generally a pretty nice and agreeable person to live with.

So to sum it up, if he doesn’t get to have his fun time and do what he wants, he is mean and rotten to anyone who gets in his path. Thinking about this harder, I begin to feel like a hostage that has no choice. Either give him his way or pay the price!

This would all be a little bit easier to swallow except, if he bikes to work, I am solely responsible for transporting our toddler to and from school. So there is a lot more pressure on me to take responsibility for our daughter so he can do what makes him happy. (Guess who has way more than 50% of the responsibility!?!?!)

And don’t think I get equal time at a later date. I get my “me time” from 5:15 to 6:45 in the morning two, sometimes three days a week when I get to go for a run. She is generally still sleeping for most of the hour and a half he is “babysitting”. The rest of the day he is pretty much free to do anything he wants to.

Another element of this whole discussion is this; when I walk in the room after being gone, I don’t know what kind of a mood I will find him in. I never know if he will be a nice, normal person or a sulky, negative person who hates to interact. Generally, if he does pick up our daughter from day care so I can do something after work, when I arrive home I get the negative guy which pretty much ruins my evening. Usually I see the negative guy at least once a week or more. Sometimes he even changes moods for no reason that I can see in the middle of the evening. (I generally attribute this to just being tired.)

Not knowing what mood you will find him in gets old. And, try as hard as I will to not take it personally, it is really hard not to. When your significant other treats you like they are mad at you it is hard to just ignore it and wait for it to pass. And, if I try to discuss the situation with him when he is grumpy, I get met with his full on negativity. Mostly he tells me it is him, not me and I should not worry about it. But I still can’t help but wonder why he is in a bad mood because I usually don’t act angry at someone unless something in my head has triggered the mood. So, I assume he got triggered and I want to know why.

Another comment he loves to throw around is that he is so much better now than he has ever been before and he doesn’t think he is that moody anymore; that his ex wife had it so much worse, etc. etc. He will also tell me that the best way for me to respond is to ignore his mood and it will pass. He always assures me that I make him very happy and that everything is good and fine.