Frankenstein Arm

Husband had his surgery this morning and they managed to pull that big old hole in his arm shut and sew it up.

You're welcome.

Husband Updates

Monday morning husband got up late and then wanted all his bandages changed, a sponge bath and a shave.  Of course he gave me no warning about this so all my morning needs were put on the back burner while I tended to him and once again I was about 30 minutes late to work.  Now, if I had known this 45 minute project was coming, I would have planned accordingly and it wouldn’t have been such a big deal.  Just annoyed a bit.

He also got his mega splint replaced by this much tidier cast.  While he was there they informed him that he has not one, but two broken bones in that wrist.  They think it will heal up and be just fine in the long run though.  I think there is a knuckle under there that is pretty badly stripped of tendons that might be a more long term issue.

 

Tuesday morning I split to go run and husband managed on his own.  He also went to see the burn doctor about the gaping hole in his right forearm and they decided NOT to do a skin graft but to instead try to stretch his remaining skin over the hole and stitch it closed.  This is scheduled to happen on Thursday morning.  They have promised him a ghastly scar which he thinks will be cool.  (boys?)

The good news is he is cleared to go to Mexico on vacation next week so we will finally get to take a vacation together.  First one ever since we have been married.  I am relieved.  I didn’t want to go without him.

This morning Husband grumped at me when I got up at the regular time, when HIS alarm went off.  Then he finally got up and scurried around getting ready to leave.  (Not talking to me just like the pre-accident husband would do.)  I sat there watching the news like we generally do in the morning.  He gave himself a sponge bath and got mad at me when I told him to move the throw carpet so it did not get wet.  He also got mad at me when I told him that I gave away some of our old bike jerseys to Stina’s husband.  (Who, by the way, is thrilled to have them.)  Husband had suggested I give the old jerseys to him so I was a bit miffed that I was now in trouble for having done so.  I guess he wanted to pick which ones I gave away.  Trust me I only picked the ones he has NEVER worn or not worn in many years.

Finally he was going to leave and beckoned me into the bedroom to kiss me good bye.  (Not his normal M.O.)  I went in there and kissed him goodbye and he started to grope my chest and mentioned he missed the “ta-tas”.  (Beanie is still asleep.)  I really was in no mood for this especially since he had been completely unfriendly ALL morning.  He was now lingering and I wanted to get ready to leave so I flat out said I was not going to sex him up.  He left in a huff.  Really sick of men!

A Real Bath

The wounds on his back looked really good so we finally got Husband into the bath tub.  I have been giving him sponge baths all week.  Everything seems to be healing well.  The big issue is the gaping hole in his arm. 

We are not sure what they will do about that but they were talking skin grafts so I went and Googled it and WOW they look awful.  Definitely won’t be any fun.

AND – we are scheduled to go on vacation in Cancun the week of the 23^rd.  I am really worried that his injuries may prevent him from leaving the country and ruin our first ever family vacation.  I am trying not to stew on it.  He has an appointment on Tuesday and then we will know for sure.

Monday

He went to work!  He could not be talked out of it.  I changed his bandages again this morning and dropped him off at his office.  He is a project manager/economist at the University so it is a sit down job, but still, I think he needs to rest more.  I wonder if he can even type.

Beanie woke up with pink eye so I had the fun task of getting her into see the doctor.    I needed to buy more gauze bandages for husband too.   Oh and I was way behind at work because Friday was a total loss.

Ramone had a dentist appointment at noon.  She did not answer her phone until 11:30 so I was climbing the wall all morning trying to get a hold of her.  When she did answer she told me I had woke her up and she would get to the dentist as fast as she could.  The dentist office then called me at 12:05 and said she wasn’t there!  I told them to call her.  Later in the day she advised me that she has 4 cavities.  Holy Hell teenagers are the pits!

I am already running out of steam here folks!

Living With the Injured

I was scheduled to go biking at 5:30 am (to beat the heat) but decided I really should not leave him alone.  Besides, we had been waking up every 3 hours with pain and then waiting the obligatory 4 hours between pills.  It was a long night between the snoring (he can only lay on his back) and the moaning with pain.

I promised him a sponge bath later and made him a pot of coffee.  He can hardly use his hands or arms so he is basically helpless and I need to do everything for him.

He is left handed and the left wrist is broken.

I also made a LONG list of everything I needed to do.  The last two days had been a complete loss; so there were still groceries to fetch, weekly lunches to cook, pets to care for, laundry to wash, etc, etc.  We also needed to go get him a new phone and most importantly get our little girl back.

I spent the morning cleaning, shopping and cooking and we went to the AT&T store as soon at it opened.   He opted for a Go phone instead of signing a new contract.  He tried to make a joke that he wanted to warranty the old phone.  Ha Ha (not funny)

Grandma and Grandpa wanted to bring Beanie all the way home to our house so they could see Husband but I graciously offered (and Husband agreed) to bring him along and meet them at the McDonalds like we usually do.

A funny thing happened on the hour long drive out there……..Husband and I actually had a nice long conversation.  (I know you’re in shock, I was too.)  Funny now I can’t remember most of the details of what we discussed but it was nice to have a real meaningful talk with him.  If we were forced to be in a room together with no distractions more often I am sure it would be good for us (or at least me).  I know he hates to do it, but actually engaging in authentic conversations with me is such a good thing.  I think spending the whole day together was good for us too.  Maybe, just maybe this will bring us closer together.

We pulled into the parking lot at 5 just as planned and Beanie jumped out of the car with joy and yelled Dada as she rushed towards him.  She had no idea he was hurt and soon started crying at the site of his bandages.  I know she didn’t get it, but she knew it was not right.  Daddy soothed her and she was fine in no time.  We all sat and talked for a long time so G&G would go home feeling informed and placated.

Before we left to fetch the girl, Husband had me change all his bandages so they would not look gross and oozy.  They are supposed to be changed once a day.  I am proud that I did it but let me tell you it was no fun at all.  Under those bandages are some deep wounds and you have to clean them, then slather them with antibiotic ointment then place this sterile, yellow, non stick pad on it and then wrap the whole thing back up.  Its gut wrenching and takes a long time to do.  The whole time, your husband is writhing in pain and you feel like you might barf.

He is supposed to get skin grafts on some of the areas as soon as they schedule the procedure later in the week but for now, he has some pretty ghastly holes in his epidermis.

Rather than Sit at Home Alone Worrying

I woke up before the alarm went off and just laid there in the dark.  Everything was strange and I had barely slept a wink.   I don’t think I actually climbed in bed until almost midnight.  Then all night long the air conditioner would cycle on and make a lot of loud noises and then cycle off and it would be so quiet it was eerie.

I knew I needed to eat something if I was going to be able to run at all.  All day yesterday I never felt like eating but did eventually choke down some McDonalds as I passed my daughter off to her Grandparents at the rendezvous location an hour west of home.  His parents were, of course, concerned but I assured them Husband was fine and that it was just a few scrapes and bruises and they should not worry a bit.

I knew the hotel served a free continental breakfast so I put on my sandals and wondered towards the front desk.  All was dark and quiet and I could not find anything that looked like food.  I asked the front desk and they said breakfast starts at 6:30 am.  It was now around 5 am so that was not going to work for me at all.

I went back to my room and found some quarters, located a vending machine and bought a bag of Cheeze-its.  I pulled out my cell phone and called my husband’s hospital room number.  A curse lady answered and told me the rooms were on *do not disturb* for the night.   For a split moment I wanted to crumble again but I regrouped knowing they meant well not letting phone calls ring through 24 hours a day.

I went back to my room and put on my running clothes all the while thinking I would just head down to the starting line to watch and cheer on my friends.  I tidied my room up a bit decided to drive down there a bit early in case I should get lost…or better yet, find a snack so I could eat more.

Arriving early gets you a good parking spot!   I wondered down to the hotel and met up with Uwe and some of our running buddies.  We headed to the starting location and I told them I had not slept much and that I was feeling really out of it.  On top of that, the forecast was for record heat again today.  My friends encouraged me to run anyway and I then decided I would just think of it as a normal Saturday morning training run only much shorter.  (Usually I run 10-13 miles on Saturday and this would only be a bit over 6.)  How could I go wrong, the course is out and back so if I feel too terrible I can just turn around and come back.

They started the 5K and 10K together and I took off at a leisurely 9 minute pace.  EVERYONE was passing me.  I didn’t care at all.  I was going to relax and just jog this one.

The course is fairly hilly and because I was taking it easy, I just paced myself up the hills; never walking, just slow and steady up up up.  At the 5k turn around almost everyone made the corner.  No wonder they were all so fast, they were only running 3 miles!

At the 10k turn around I realized I wasn’t doing too badly compared to most and that I was in fact feeling a bit better.  I picked up my pace knowing I was at least going to finish instead of turning back like a loser.

This race has a little jaunt up and then back down a road called Lovers Leap.  I had never seen it but had heard tell that it is the nastiest hill you will ever encounter.  I knew I would turn onto it around mile 5 but then after I made it to the top; it was downhill for the last mile to the finish.

As promised, lovers leap was too steep to run so I walked it as fast as I could.  There were people everywhere all walking either up or down the narrow road.  (The race had a 5k walk option as well.) I spotted Uwe coming down and we gave each other a high-5 as we passed and that pumped me up.  At the top I took a drink of water at the aid station and then, determined to finish strong, I blasted down that hill, past all the walkers, turned right onto the main road and ran my very hardest that last mile to the finish; “Balls to the wall” as they say.

View of finish from top of Lover Leap!

By now the temperature was up to about 80 and I was soaked in sweat.  I felt pretty good though as I passed most everyone else walking or running darn slow at this point.  It was a tough course and I was feeling pretty proud that I didn’t let it beat me down!

Shortly after I finished, Uwe found me and told me I looked great and that I had surely placed. I was shocked considering how bad I had felt at the start.  We both got some water to drink and started to look for the others in our group.  We checked results as they were posted and I saw that both of us had placed 4^th; just missing a medal.  Bummer.

Everyone stayed for the awards presentation but I went back to the car to make phone calls.  During the race I had been thinking of tons of things to discuss with Husband.  Husband answered but quickly said he could not talk.  OMG-he’s killing me.  I spoke to Grandma and Beanie and they were doing well but wanted to know how Daddy was.  (ME TOO) I promised I would call them back as soon as I heard anything.

By the time I got back to the awards area the crowd had thinned and they were announcing the last (oldest) age groups.  To my delight they called my name.  Evidently I ended up with 3^rd because one of the other women got the “masters” award.  So, I ended up with some nice hardware, a bronze medal for my effort.

Next everyone was headed to lunch.  I phoned husband and he said that he would not be getting out anytime soon, in fact they may even keep him another day.  I asked him if they had cut his wedding ring off and he told me no, it was at home, he had not been wearing it that day.  I was glad for that.  I went to lunch with everyone which seemed to take forever.  I really wanted to get back and see him so I was getting really impatient.

On the drive back I called him and he said they had set his wrist and that he was cleared to go home anytime I could come get him.  With my awesome luck, there was a big accident on the highway and it took me an extra hour to get home.  BUT, I finally fetched him out of the hospital and he seemed in good spirits.  We got his pain medication prescription filled and went to Target and got him some sandals that would fit around his bandaged foot and then home for a relaxing evening just the two of us.

I finally geared down once we were both relaxing in front of the TV and I felt the tension I had been carrying for days now leave my body.  I felt such relief.  I was ready for a good night’s sleep.

What Goes up Must Come Down

This morning I packed to go out of town to do my 10k running race. I was all excited to have a mini vacation.  I put my swim suit in the bag because the hotel has a pool.  I put everything in the car and got the whole house in order and my daughter ready for school and then I finally jumped in the shower.

When I finished my shower I could hear my phone ringing; odd that it rings in the morning before 8 am.  I toweled off quickly but couldn’t get to it in time.  It was a missed call from my boss.  I phoned him back right away, still standing there in nothing but a towel with my hair soaking wet.

“Did you hear about James?” he asked.  I was confused, who was he talking about.  There is a guy at work named James.  I asked if he meant that James and he said no, your husband.  “He has been in a motorcycle accident.   He is Ok, but wants you to come get him and take him to the hospital.”  My head is spinning and I am forced to realize this is no joke and I am not even slightly prepared for all the implications.  I’m not even dressed!

I dress as quickly as possible and I calmly put my daughter in the car.  I drive as fast as I can without much regard for traffic or the law.  I was careful but fast.  I dropped her at school with a quick kiss and RAN back to the car. Now I take off out of the parking lot and feel myself breaking down.  I have to keep it together and drive a few more miles.  I curse the cars going slow in the fast lane on the highway.  “Get the fuck out of the way!”

Finally I see the ambulance on the street and I pull up behind the patrol car.  The man in the street motions me to pass through; arms flailing harder as he realizes I am ignoring him.  I park my car, jump out and yell “I am the wife!”  I am already mad at everyone and everything.  I am scared to death, I am hyperventilating and my hands are going numb.  I run to the back of the ambulance where my husband sits all battered, bloody and wrapped in gauze.  I want to grab him and hug him, I want to shake him and scream at him, I want to break down and cry, I can’t stop breathing too fast.  I crumble by his feet at the back of the ambulance gasping for air and sobbing.  It had been 45 minutes since the call and for me it was way too long of a build up for this moment to finally see him.

The EMT guy says to me “mam, you need to calm down, I won’t let you drive if you don’t calm down.”  Really!  Really!!  WTF!  I hear his voice in my right ear and I hate his bossy tone.  I know he means well but at the same time he is just flaming all the anger inside me.  I look at him, hold my hand up and say “really you are not helping…please shut up!”

He backs up and my husband gives him a polite nod.  I pace a bit and breathe.  I must pull my shit together.  I calm down enough that they ask me to pull my car up and they help my husband into it.  They ask me to pop the trunk and they pitch in a pile of beaten and bloody things; his backpack, his shoe, his watch, his pocket knife and more.

We then wait, for the ambulance to drive off (felt like 10 minutes but was probably only one) and we follow it up the road.  Husband starts to apologize and that makes me mad too.  I can’t even begin to tell you how many emotions are flying through my mind.  I know he is talking and walking but still, how badly is he hurt.  He is going to the hospital, he moans when I hit bumps or turn too fast.  We argue about which route to take.  I let him decided.  I should not have.

As we approach the hospital there is construction and detours and it takes more than one try to find the route that actually gets us to the emergency room entrance.  Just pisses me off even more.  You would think a hospital would ensure that the injured can actually get to the emergency room entrance.

Once inside, he gives them his insurance card and his ID and they start to type him into the computer.  He groans a bit.  I can’t breathe correctly.  I hate hospitals, I hate police, I hate all of this.  I hate my husband to be in pain.  I hate to be so scared.  I still can’t stop hyperventilating and I feel like I might pass out.  I put my head down between my knees.  I get mad at myself for not being cool and relaxed.  I am a nut job.  I am so damaged by life.

They finally send him to a triage nurse and I sit there watching and my head swims.  I want to leave but feel too dizzy and out of it.  I try to pull myself together and have no luck.  I finally decided that leaving might be the only way to calm down.  I can’t do anything here.  I should go do something……so I won’t just freak out.

I leave the hospital and decide to go to work and get some of the guys to help me pick up the motorcycle trash that is now in the ditch by where it was wrecked.   We drive out and they load it on a trailer.  It’s a heavy crumpled mess.  I hate that thing.  Always did.

I almost made him drive our daughter today.  I was getting ready to leave town and really could have used his help.  BUT, instead I was nice and stuck to the schedule so he could ride the motorcycle to work.  Should have been more selfish and he would be fine.

Back at work I had a few things I just had to do.  I knew he would be at the hospital for a few hours at least so I balanced cash and did some other things in the office that really needed to be done.  By noon I was getting antsy to find out what was going on and there was no way to call him because his phone was totaled in the accident.

I drove back up to the hospital and found him still in the ER.  He was in room 1 and a boy was putting stitches in his hand.  Husband had been thoroughly x-rayed and has only a broken wrist and a small fracture in his foot.  He also has many deep cuts and abrasions on his arms, shoulders, hands and feet.  On his right forearm, the part that hit the ground first, he is actually missing a hunk of skin and will require skin grafts. 

All this makes me feel better.  At least now we know what is wrong.  How damaged he is.  He then tells me they are going to admit him and keep him overnight.  That I should take our daughter to his parents house and go to my race.  I told him I would not be leaving town to go have fun while he was in the hospital trauma wing for the night.  We did agree that it would be best to get Beanie to G&G so she would not have to see any of this.