Turned it Around

I woke up this morning and it was cold and rainy so I texted Stina and we agreed to skip running today and try for tomorrow.  I then happily cuddled up next to Kevin and went back to sleep. 

Beanie was at her Dads house.

We slept rather late and then lingered in bed as he read his tablet and I checked Facebook and blogs.  The clock was ticking and I was getting bored and wanted to get up and do something.  I am not good at relaxing, especially when I am well rested in the morning. 

Finally we agreed to get up and run some errand before working on the remodeling at his house.  I assumed we would spend the afternoon on finishing the wall paper removal followed up by getting some fun time doing the puzzle we started on New Year's Day.  (My favorite New Years Eve of all times involved a puzzle so this was something I had really looked forward to for weeks.)

I also still had to plan a workout in there some how, before I got Beanie back.....you know my NYR!

Friss called and stalled me getting out the door and by the time I got to Kevin's house to pick him up it was almost 10 am.  This is VERY late for me to have done NOTHING at all yet.  I was starting to stress a bit about being so unproductive.  When I arrived he was doing dishes and not ready to go.  I snipped at him "can't those wait till we get back?"  Heavy on my mind was how crowded Wally World gets on the weekends.  I hate to fight the crowds to shop and usually do my shopping at 7 am if I can.

He finished the dishes while I tried to be patient.  As soon as we left he wanted to go to McDonald's and get breakfast.  This aggravated me.  Why the hell didn't he eat while he was waiting for me rather than start the dishes.  UGH.  We did the drive through and he ate in the car I had JUST cleaned yesterday.  I was not "loving it".  I didn't eat....part of my diet is no eating out!  Wasn't that hungry anyway.

Next it was groceries for him (I was well stocked having gone shopping yesterday) and the sand paper we needed for the project.  We arrived home around noon and started on the wall.  Finally some progress was getting made and only half the day was wasted.  GRRR  I was making mental notes about how I am such a morning person that in the future I might be better off to get up and do my own thing and meet up with Kevin around noon when he gets going.  My uncle does this with his wife who adores sleeping in and they have been happily married forever.

The phone rang and it was Aaron, Kevin's son, he needed a babysitter.  OH GEEZ!!  Now we are going to be saddled with a spoiled 3 year old.  All I could think of was HIDE THE PUZZLE!

I thought this through and knew that I needed to get my work out in and then I would feel better so while he went to fetch Gage I did a run in the drizzle rain.   After a decent 6 mile run I went home and colored my hair, took a shower and started dinner.  My mood was much more positive and I was now looking forward to getting back to Kevin's house and eating a "family" meal together.

Luckily we only live .75 of a mile from each other because there is a lot of back and forth that goes on.  The bulk of it is on me and I don't think he fully understands what a hassle it is for me to plan ahead and drag things back and forth between our homes.  I so look forward to the end of March when we will finally be in one place be it is current home or a new one.

I texted JDK to bring the girl home at 5.  The exact time I wanted her.  I recently realized that my trying to be flexible and agreeable with him was just making me feel annoyed as I wait on his timeline, so I would be better off to just ask for what I want and if he has an issue then negotiate.  So far it is working like a charm.  I know it sounds easy but the process of asking for my needs to be met first is not my first instinct.

Back at Kevin's house I finished up dinner and we tried to get Gage to sit and eat with us.  He was tired and cranky and is in the habit of having pizza for dinner so he wanted nothing to do with my baked chicken, green beans and croissant rolls.  His Grandpa is really frustrated with how his son parents the toddler and I agree with him.  The kid is spoiled rotten, has no bedtime, won't eat anything but pizza and knows how to throw a VERY loud tantrum.  We ate our meal and encouraged him to join us which he refused and screamed it was icky.   He cried and moaned that he needed pizza.  G-pa handled it all very well and eventually the exhausted hungry boy cried himself to sleep while we did the dishes and Beanie feasted on desert because she ate her healthy dinner like a big girl. 

Finally we all cuddled up on the couch to watch Property Brothers on DIY TV, a show we all three enjoy.  I was in a great mood and I feeling positive.  I was proud of how Kevin handled the kid.  I was happy that I managed to get my needs met.  I was proud of Beanie for being a good "auntie" by setting a good example.  I had made my mental notes about how I will do better next time so I don't start of the day so cranky.  It all worked out just fine.

At 9pm we came home and Beanie went to bed.  I was very awake which is not uncommon when I am hungry.   I made the best of my time by getting my workout tracking all set up and logging my calories and linking my Garmin to My Fitness Pal.  I then stayed up reading until almost midnight.

It was a good day!

Oh....and after my run I weighed 137 pounds.  Already seeing some progress.  It is encouraging.

2015

I am not usually a New Year's resolution fan.  Up until just a few years ago, I didn't even gorge myself during the holidays and gain weight thus requiring the resolution to get in shape.  But, for one reason or another in the last few years I have been guilty of porking out in the winter and getting embarrassingly over weight.

I maintained my weight very well until my mid 40s and then it just didn't seem as important anymore thanks to sagging skin, wrinkles, ages spots, etc.

BUT this year is a BIG year for me because come August 29th I will turn 50 years old!!  I really can't believe this is going to happen.  The years really DO fly by.  I remember when my mother turned 50 and it doesn't seem that long ago.  Heck it seems like just yesterday I was staring down 40 and dreading that milestone.

In order to gracefully slip into my second 1/2 century of life I have resolved to get in great shape and be proud of myself for my birthday.  I want to celebrate and be happy rather than feel ashamed at my lack of self discipline and my shitty relationships.

So January 1 seems like the perfect time to really kick off this project of being fabulous at 50.  (Ugh...that sounds so dorky.)

So this is the breakdown of my plan:

1) WEIGHT -  Get safely back under 130 pounds (my ideal weight) and stay there.  In order to accomplish this goal my action plan involves a number of things that I know work for me.  First, I will control my calorie intake by counting them every day using My Fitness Pal app.  Second, I will weigh in daily or at least every few days.  Weekly DOES NOT work for me....it allows me too much time to get off track.  In fact not weighing is a big part of how I got in trouble in the first place.  It is the feedback I require to get the job done.  I used to weigh my self religiously and stayed under 130 for years.

2) ALCOHOL - No wine until I am back to my weight goal.  Not only are there lots of empty calories in wine but also, it is just too easy for me to have a few glasses of wine and then feel so "relaxed" that I eat stuff for fun and the calorie situation gets out of hand quick.  Since I love wine so much I must just make it off limits for a while.  I can still drink a beer or a margarita if it fits in my calorie count since I know I will not get carried away drinking them. 

3) EXERCISE - get back in the habit of making exercise a priority.  When I am fit and strong I feel better both physically and emotionally.  I joined the gym.  I have started lifting again.  But for 2015 my goal is to work out EVERY single day at least once.  A "workout" consists of (but is not limited to) running, cycling, yoga, swimming, or lifting.  I will be moving in March and I will count a day of moving furniture as exercise.  You get the idea.  I am not allowed to spend the day in sloth mode unless I am sick.  If I challenge myself and set this goal it will gain momentum as time goes on and I can't let my streak come to an end.  This type of pressure works for me.

4) MENTAL HEALTH - I plan to read, write and absorb anything and everything that is GOOD for me.  I already bookmarked this blog to read daily http://tinybuddha.com/.   I will find and implement more ways to be positive and grow personally into the best possible me. 

5) RELATIONSHIPS - I want to build better relationships with the people I love such as my family and Kevin.  I also will strive to develop a positive relationship with JDK and not waste my time feeling negative towards him.  I vow to focus on appreciating the good in people and putting forth a joyous presence into the world.  I don't want to be an old bitchy person!!

I know I will struggle at times because you don't get to be my age and flip a switch and start doing everything you want to do.  BUT...I have goals and actions plans and time to make this work.  I am feeling positive and motivated and I am going to make this next year one of the best years yet!!

Oh....and today I weighed 140.  Christmas was an eat-a-thon!