Saturday Kevin came over and we rearranged the bins and boxes stacked in my garage. The movers had just piled them neatly at the back of the garage but I need them stacked so I could get to some and not others. Anyhow, it was nice to have a strong man to do the lifting while I stood there and directed.
Saturday evening I unloaded the last of the boxes and declared myself fully moved; paintings are on the wall, most little details taken care of. I am feeling more and more at home. Ahhh
Sunday around noon I dropped Beanie at her Dad's. He was in a good mood (after a mostly kid free weekend) and we chatted a bit and everything was fine. I think we are both starting to adjust to the new normal.
So spring is in the air and I am feeling really good. Not dealing with a crappy husband is even better than I had imagined. I am actually surprised how little he even crosses my mind.
Now if I can just get the divorce done and the $$ for the house!
Showing posts with label Moving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moving. Show all posts
Monday, April 7, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
On the Edge of a Big Change
Today after work I will take the Bean to Grandma and Grandpas. She doesn't have school tomorrow (parent teacher conferences) and I am just too busy to bring her to work or entertain her this weekend.
Her Dad will go pick her up Sunday afternoon and then take her to school on Monday.
I will meet the movers at my house (that husband is buying) Monday morning at 9 am.
Today at lunch time I swung by the house to collect some more clothes and the last of my "valuables". I will spend the next 4 days staying with KP.
It is a beautiful spring day today so I stepped out onto the deck for a moment and peered out at the woods. The sun was beaming through the tall leafless trees and felt warm on my face. The frogs were gently squawking their spring songs and for a moment I felt so melancholy about leaving. I have lived in that house for the past 12 years except for the year or so we lived in Husbands house. There are lots of good things about that place.....like the woods and the frogs in spring. I remember when I first moved out there I swore I would never leave; that I would grow old roaming my trails in the woods behind that house.
The last 12 years have been the saddest years of my life. Sometimes it feels like the house is cursed. I remember how I got some very bad new the day before I was set to move in. I remember laying on the floor alone my first night there and looking out the window at the two trees and crying myself to sleep. I remember a few years later one of the twin trees died and a few years after that Husband cut it down. At the time he cut it down I felt it was symbolic. He has since drained me of all sentiment.
About a week ago I told Husband that I wanted him to give me a down payment or security deposit if you will on the house before I moved out. I bear all the risk as the loan for the house is all on me (his name is not on it since I bought the house before we met) and the new lease is too. He basically has no binding, legal document that says he has to pay for any of it.
He has agreed to pay me "rent" until he can get his own loan and actually "buy" the house from me. I fully believe he intends to buy it but I worry that he might lose his job, or chase a girl to another town or any sort of thing could happen to derail the current plan and stick me with the huge headache of having to sell the house outright and make both payments until it is sold.
When the deal is done Husband will have to give me $130,000 so I asked for a deposit of $20k. He told me he would only give me $9,000. This of course pissed me off and set off all kinds of alarms in my mind. We went round and round about the amount and he finally offered me $10,000. Woopy.
We both got tired of the fight and have let it go for now, but I have every intention of a) keeping after him for more money b) nagging him day and night to get off his godamn ass and get a loan so he can pay mine off c) getting the divorce papers signed and in the courts hands ASAP since they spell out all the house sale details.
Sooo....at this point we have called a truce and are not really speaking to each other. We both need a break from it all. We are both too busy with work and all. Two days after I move he leaves for a week long conference. I will use that time to settle into the new house. When he gets back it will be "Game On" again.
Divorce is so fun. NOT !!
KP is still being a huge sweetheart and I really could not ask for a better man. He is (so far) the best relationship I have ever had. I have never dated a man that is so strong and confident yet at the same time so generous and loving. I really hope things continue to be so good for us. I know having my own place will change the dynamics of how we relate to each other. Only time will tell if it will make us stronger or start revealing concerns.
Tonight it will just be me and the dogs because KP is out of town on business. Tomorrow night we will celebrate our 6 months "anniversary". Yes it has been six months since the day we first talked for hours and hours and hugged each other Good-bye. The day we ventured past just friends.
Saturday we are spending the day out of town going shopping for furniture and some other stuff. It will be a fun day I am sure. We do so love each other's company.
That's all for now. I should be working. Hugs to you all and I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!
Her Dad will go pick her up Sunday afternoon and then take her to school on Monday.
I will meet the movers at my house (that husband is buying) Monday morning at 9 am.
Today at lunch time I swung by the house to collect some more clothes and the last of my "valuables". I will spend the next 4 days staying with KP.
It is a beautiful spring day today so I stepped out onto the deck for a moment and peered out at the woods. The sun was beaming through the tall leafless trees and felt warm on my face. The frogs were gently squawking their spring songs and for a moment I felt so melancholy about leaving. I have lived in that house for the past 12 years except for the year or so we lived in Husbands house. There are lots of good things about that place.....like the woods and the frogs in spring. I remember when I first moved out there I swore I would never leave; that I would grow old roaming my trails in the woods behind that house.
The last 12 years have been the saddest years of my life. Sometimes it feels like the house is cursed. I remember how I got some very bad new the day before I was set to move in. I remember laying on the floor alone my first night there and looking out the window at the two trees and crying myself to sleep. I remember a few years later one of the twin trees died and a few years after that Husband cut it down. At the time he cut it down I felt it was symbolic. He has since drained me of all sentiment.
About a week ago I told Husband that I wanted him to give me a down payment or security deposit if you will on the house before I moved out. I bear all the risk as the loan for the house is all on me (his name is not on it since I bought the house before we met) and the new lease is too. He basically has no binding, legal document that says he has to pay for any of it.
He has agreed to pay me "rent" until he can get his own loan and actually "buy" the house from me. I fully believe he intends to buy it but I worry that he might lose his job, or chase a girl to another town or any sort of thing could happen to derail the current plan and stick me with the huge headache of having to sell the house outright and make both payments until it is sold.
When the deal is done Husband will have to give me $130,000 so I asked for a deposit of $20k. He told me he would only give me $9,000. This of course pissed me off and set off all kinds of alarms in my mind. We went round and round about the amount and he finally offered me $10,000. Woopy.
We both got tired of the fight and have let it go for now, but I have every intention of a) keeping after him for more money b) nagging him day and night to get off his godamn ass and get a loan so he can pay mine off c) getting the divorce papers signed and in the courts hands ASAP since they spell out all the house sale details.
Sooo....at this point we have called a truce and are not really speaking to each other. We both need a break from it all. We are both too busy with work and all. Two days after I move he leaves for a week long conference. I will use that time to settle into the new house. When he gets back it will be "Game On" again.
Divorce is so fun. NOT !!
KP is still being a huge sweetheart and I really could not ask for a better man. He is (so far) the best relationship I have ever had. I have never dated a man that is so strong and confident yet at the same time so generous and loving. I really hope things continue to be so good for us. I know having my own place will change the dynamics of how we relate to each other. Only time will tell if it will make us stronger or start revealing concerns.
Tonight it will just be me and the dogs because KP is out of town on business. Tomorrow night we will celebrate our 6 months "anniversary". Yes it has been six months since the day we first talked for hours and hours and hugged each other Good-bye. The day we ventured past just friends.
Saturday we are spending the day out of town going shopping for furniture and some other stuff. It will be a fun day I am sure. We do so love each other's company.
That's all for now. I should be working. Hugs to you all and I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!
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