The husband did an adventure race the first weekend of November and then he had a hunting trip the second weekend of November. So he was having his fun. I tagged along on one day of the hunting trip because he was in the small town where he had attended college. We had a very nice time. We left the toddler with Grandma and he showed me where he used to live, where his ex-wife lived when they were dating, where his frat house was and we even had a beer at his favorite tavern. I felt like a real wife that he loved and wanted to share his life with. He seemed so affectionate and caring.
By mid November I was so excited that we had had several weeks of what I felt was a very positive and loving marriage that I even called him and told him I was happy and felt things were going so well. He agreed. I was on top of the world. We both seemed happy and satisfied.
Then, and I had a feeling this was a bad move, I asked for some time in return. I planned a shopping trip to STL where my mother lives. I really wanted to get some new winter shoes and shopping is very limited in the small college town that we live in. Me and Ramone drove out to STL on Saturday morning and shopped all day and then went to the City Museum Saturday evening. I had heard so many great things about it and I finally had a chance to check it out. It was very cool. We drove home Sunday morning and I was at the house by 9 am. Husband had left to pick up the deer meat and it was sunny and over 50 degrees so I threw on my running gear and headed down the road. I was in the best mood but I feared he would be foul when he returned especially if I was not at the house. I ran fast and got home as he pulled in the driveway. I helped him unload the meat and he was fairly quiet. I was happy to be home and feeling exhilarated from the great weather and my run. I was perky and he finally said something to me like “you are too wound up”. He was in a bad mood and my feelings were hurt and thus…….the bubble burst.
I assumed he was angry from a whole day alone home with the toddler but he told me he was sick. I could see no signs of sickness. He started to go for a bike ride and bailed telling me he didn’t feel like it. Again, he did not mention he was sick, just not in the mood. He piddled in the yard and kept away from me and the girls; which was fine since he was grumpy. I was sad, but tried not to let it get me down.
Later I found out that while I was gone he had gone to Otters house and ditched Bean with Otters wife while he and Otter went for a big long trail run. Of course he did not tell me he went for a run and only mentioned going over there after Bean said something about seeing some girls.
The rest of the week his mood really never improved and it was right back to the old ways of him being grumpy and judgmental and non communicative; and me feeling like I live in a loveless marriage.
The final straw came last Saturday. He had to work so I took Bean to the gym and then we piddled around at the Dick’s store so he would have the house quite to work. We had lunch at McDonalds and went home for nap time. Daddy headed out on his bike and I took a nap. When he returned I invited him to the park with us and he said no. We went anyway and had a nice time. I took so many cute photos of Bean!
After the park we grabbed dinner at Arby’s because I knew there was no point in going home. He was crabby and the longer I stayed away the happier I would be. Sunday morning he didn’t want to go to the grocery store with me and I lost it. I started a big old fight. He said I was unpleasant and judgmental. I tried not to get defensive because I know his tactics. In the long run I made it clear that I just wanted to live with someone who liked me and wanted to talk to me and would spend time with me. He seemed to get it. He has been nicer the last few days.
