A change of View

Over Thanksgiving weekend back in 2002 I moved into the house I now live in. It is a nice house, but the thing that sold me on it, is the fact that it is located on 20 fully wooded acres. It is like living in a national park. (I bought this house all by myself and I am proud that I could afford to do so.) When I moved into the house I was single and I put my bed up under the window so I could look out and see the trees and the stars. This is something that the x-boyfriend and I used to do. We used to joke that we wanted a bay window in the bedroom to put the bed in so we could have a better view of the night time sky. So for the next few years, I slept by myself and by the window. Having the bed under the window was not the most esthetic furniture arrangement, but I didn’t care because I treasured my window time. I would also leave the window open so I could hear the frogs and owls at night. If it was cold out, I would just leave it open an inch so I could still smell the night air and hear the coyotes. One night I actually heard a tree fall in the woods. It took me a minute to figure out what the sound was because it sounded like fireworks….there was a lot of popping involved. One night I heard the coyotes fighting and it was downright scary. One time I looked out in early dawn and saw a buck mating with a female deer. Another morning I remember I woke up with my head so far up in the window that the first thought that came to mind was “why am I outside?” Then I realized I was in bed but only one inch from my window screen. I also would see my huge owl in the winter when the leaves were down. I bet he weighed close to 30 pounds. He had a huge wing span so he was easy to spot as he flew in the woods.

I took this photo when we were dating so he was not living at my house then. My window is on the left there......golly I do miss it.




Now that I am married, we have the bedroom painted so you can’t see the foot marks where I used to prop my feet on the wall while I was gazing out the window. The bed is now placed in the “proper” location with the windows at each side of the head board. When I lay in bed on my side, I can see out the patio door which is mostly a view of the deck and a little bit of sky. But, for the most part, I can’t see outside and I don’t have the window open. We live like civilized adults should with our bedroom looking tidy and well decorated. My husband did not like the bed shoved into the corner so I had to climb over him to get in so when he moved in we rearranged and set it up the way he wanted it. I often miss my window time and wonder what is going on out in the woods now that I have lost touch, but I would still rather have my husband to sleep with than be perched in my window sill by myself.

More recent photo after he moved into the house.

No Mick! Time is not on my side.

A few months ago I did a post about how I was considering plastic surgery.

Go here to read it: http://lifeistooshortandtoolong.blogspot.com/2009/07/decisions-and-incisions.html

Well, I did it. Last Monday, December 7th I reported to the Outpatient Surgery Center for a breast lift and a tummy tuck. No insurance involved, I had to pay cash! The surgery was scheduled to take 4 hours, but I was done in 3 and the surgeon said it went great. I took the whole week off work because they warned me that I would be sore, have drain tubes in my stomach and need to walk bent over for the first 7-10 days.

Monday after surgery, my husband brought me home and put me on the couch where I watched TV and dozed off and on. I was in some pain, but not enough to try the pain meds the doctor had me get from the pharmacy on the way home. Pain meds have made me very sick to my stomach in the past and my stomach was already feeling pretty icky. So, I took no pain medication and was OK with that.

Tuesday morning I went back to the doctor for a 24 hours check up. He took the dressings off my breasts and as I looked down, I was totally amazed. There on my chest were two perfectly rounded and firm, perky looking boobs. Even with stitched and tape on them they looked amazing. They looked perfect. I gasped at the doctor and declared him my savior. I spent the rest of the day texting all my friends that my boobs looked amazing. And, I have to tell you that they never really hurt. Not any more than a bad bra day with pokey under wires hurts. I did not have implants and that may make a big difference, but at this point, I am recommending that EVERYONE who is not happy with their boobs should go get a boob job. It is the best!

The next few days I lazed around the house and read and watched TV. Getting up and about was out of the question because I was not supposed to stand up straight and after walking hunched over for a day, your back gets so sore you can hardly move. The back was screaming if I got up so I tried to stay down. When they do a tummy tuck, they also do some sort of shoring up of your stomach muscles. This has been the painful part. And, trying to lay down when you have all this trauma to your stomach is not fun. I am usually glad I don’t have a big old La-z-boy recliner taking up half my living room, but this week, that would have been the thing to have. I did manage to get comfy on the couch by putting my back on the arm and my legs down the couch with some pillows under them.

Friday it was back to the doctor to get the drain tubes removed and the dressing finally came off my abdomen. Now, this was unpleasant and the tape they had used was like getting a free wax job as it came off. I looked down to see a huge cut across my stomach and it is well above my panty line. Not sure I like where he put that.....will show for sure in most clothes! And it is swollen and sore and looks like it is not my stomach. Not thrilled so far, but it has only been a week so we will see how it looks in another month or so. On the bright side, I don’t have rolls of skin on my tummy despite the fact I am 5 pounds under my previous “skinny hot” weight.

So, I am back at work today. I am still a bit sore and trying to sit mostly, but not too bad.

Everything AS PLANNED!

So I did go and visit my father on Saturday as planned and everything went well. Here is the whole story…….but to warn you……it’s not exciting.

Friday night after work, I had my husband pick up the baby and I went to Gymboree to cash in on the big sale they were having. I purchased a pair of pink pants to go with a top that Grandma had bought and I also spotted a dress on clearance that I loved. I found leggings to go with it and got matching socks for only 75 cents. The whole outfit on sale was well worth it. She looked adorable in it. AND, it was so nice to shop without a toddler constantly distracting me and complaining. Thank You Daddy!

When I arrived home, I tried the pink pants on the kid and they looked terrible. Big bottomed girls should not wear tight pink pants…..duh! So, I vowed to return or hopefully exchange them first thing in the morning.

Saturday morning, I got up, packed and prepared to head out of town. At 9 am on the dot, as planned, I headed to the mall to do my exchange. I took the baby with me to try on pants. I was not leaving until I found some I loved and we did try on quite a few pairs before buying these.

I then got gas and picked up the older kids at 10 am on the nose just as planned. They were perky and dressed nice and we had an easy drive to St. Louis. Once in town, we stopped at White Castles for lunch because I just had to have some…. besides, Beanie loves French fries.

After lunch, we cleaned up and drove to my father’s house. We arrived right at 1 as planned. At this point I am feeling like the luckiest mom on the planet. I mean, 3 kids in tow and all is going smoothly!

My father and his wife were nice to us and we sat and chatted and we all took turns keeping the toddler under control. It was a bit scary since they have expensive figurines everywhere and art on the floor. Even the pillows look expensive but I let Beanie throw them on the floor anyway. At some point all the kids asked for snacks and drinks and I cringed. Mona (the wife) got up and helped them in the kitchen. I think they were fairly polite and not too piggy.

We left at 3 as planned. That was just long enough. The toddler would have come completely unglued if we had stayed any longer. We all hugged and waved goodbye and I left feeling pretty good.

Saturday evening, we hung out at my mom’s house and she took the older kids to Kohl’s and got them a few articles of clothing which was nice of her. They are always in need of school clothes.

Sunday morning, I ran a few errands then we had a big breakfast at my moms and as soon as Beanie showed signs of needing a nap, we all loaded back up and headed for home. The baby fell asleep right off as planned and then I let Monster drive as soon as we were out of the thick of city traffic. I relaxed and even dozed a few minutes on the drive home. In no time we were there and I was feeling rested and ready to enjoy the balance of my weekend.

Tiger......I am SO dissapointed.

If ever there was a celebrity that I respected and admired, it was Tiger Woods. If ever there was a man who was rich and famous that I thought would respect his wife and family it was Tiger Woods. I am truly saddened and disappointed to find out that he is just as selfish and lowly as any other man.

I have no heroes!

The Reunion is Scheduled

On Sunday, my sister borrowed my phone to call our father and make arrangements to go visit him later in the week. She talked to him for a few minutes and then says “Hey Pop, Judi wants to say hi” and handed me the phone. I am thinking “oh shit, what will I say?”

The night before, Linda and I had stayed up talking until 3 am. She explained how Pop and Mona had Mona’s kids and Grand kids over all the time and how she thought that Mona had been systematically keeping us away in the hopes of having my father all to herself. For the most part, my father’s wife has never been particularly nasty to me and I have nothing against the women. On the other hand, the scenario is certainly possible and my poor father could just be getting bullied by his wife.

Wait a minute! My father the victim? Not likely! I really find it hard to believe that he would purposefully be indifferent to us in order to keep her happy unless it was what he wanted. I guess what I am saying is, one thing I am pretty sure about is that my father does what he wants and does not let other people run his life.

Then again, people change and relationships are tricky. In the final analysis, he seemed so genuinely happy to talk to me on the phone that day and he asked me to come visit………so………I am going.

This weekend on Saturday from 1-3 pm I am going to go visit my father for the first time in almost 10 years. I have invited my two older kids to go along and they both want to. The Bean is going for sure since she goes where I go. I am not real excited to show up with 3 kids at his door step. I am pretty sure that my father and his wife won’t be either. However, I can’t tell them they are not invited to go see their grandfather when it will probably be the last time they ever see him alive.

He had a heart attach a few years back and has never been the same ever since. He is just getting really old and is not in good health so it won’t be long until we have to gather to bury his body. I won’t have to sort his belongings as his wife will keep them and there will be no keepsakes for me I am sure. The only things I have that my father ever gave me, if you can even call it that, are an old wooden, homemade shoe rack from when I was a kid and some wine glasses and a big bowl that I fished out of a pile of junk that was headed to the Salvation Army one time when I was at their house. That’s it!