Rest In Peace Dirty James

I like this one......she looks happy and he seems so sweet.

It was 2:30 and Beanie and I were at the pool.  My phone rang and it was Monster.  I answered feeling a bit guilty thinking "Oh crap, he will want a ride to the gym...I totally forgot about him."

Instead he told me that he needed my help to find Ramone because she wasn't answering her phone and he was worried about her. 

Then he told me her boyfriend was dead!

I never really liked her boyfriend because he is (was) 7 years older than my daughter, was happy to live with her but not pay his share of the rent and he was always asleep in her bed (during the daytime) when I would swing by her place.  He never looked me in the eyes....hell I don't know if he EVER even spoke to me.  They started dating when she was still in high school and working at a sandwich shop with him.  Lately she had been pretty much living at his house not hers.

I may have mentioned him on the blog before.....he goes by Dirty.  (can't imagine how a guy picks up and sticks to that nickname!)  I wasn't fond of him but I certainly didn't wish him dead.

Beanie and I gathered our stuff and rushed to pick up Monster.  The three of us headed to Ramone's house to find her and about 20 her friends all hanging out, in shock and comforting one another.  I rushed in and hugged her for a long time. We cried.  I feel so bad for her, her friends and Dirty's family.  He was only 27 years old!  Way too young to die.

Ramone and her friends about a year ago (maybe New Years Eve?).  Dirty is center in back.
  Ramone has on the purple crown.

She told me that when she got home from work at about 4 am she walked into the house to find him slumped over his computer and purple.  She called the police and they came and for some reason took her phone as evidence.  She said she talked to Dirty on the phone not long before she got home.  She told me she didn't think it was drugs.  I suspected a drug overdose of course.  I am sure that is what the cops thought.  I have no idea what kind of drugs the kids do other than pot....I don't want to know.

Dirty and his dog.

At around 4 am Monster was walking home from work and the cops picked him up and took him over to Dirty's house.  I guess they did it just to be nice to Ramone.   Then, Monster took Ramone home and spent the night (well morning) with her.  He had to be at his day job at 9 am this morning so he left her home sleeping.  I guess he forgot they kept her phone.  For some reason the cops put the dogs in a shelter too.  But Ramone got all three of them back fairly easy with no charge.  She is going to keep his dog I guess.  Poor puppy doesn't know her Daddy will never come home.

I hung out with her and her friends for a while and then took Monster home to sleep and then came home.  I tried to get her phone for her with no luck.

I am in shock. 

I can't sleep.

Just last weekend at a music festival.

Ramone

My older daughter, Ramone will turn 20 on May 23rd.  I can't even get exited about her birthday coming up.  I guess I will give her some cash for bills but that is no fun.

She is kind of on my last nerve lately.  Every time I see her or talk to her it just depresses me.  Her life is such a shamble.

When I go to her (rental) house/apartment there are always random people and dogs there and the place is trashed.  It always looks like there has been a huge party and no one has cleaned up yet.  She is grubby like her father.  I am sure that will never change.

She always tells me she is behind on her bills and her last roommate stiffed her for the rent.  She has a revolving door with the roommates.  Her caliber of friend leaves a lot to be desired (IMO).

She still has not repaired the broken rim on her car and is just driving it.  I fear the car will be worthless soon.  It pains me to see her just destroy her belongings.  Giving her things is like throwing them in the trash.  It makes it hard to be a helpful caring parent.

She recently broke her foot because a neighbor girl slammed a door on it.  She was arguing with this girl about something the neighbor girl said about another girl.  So basically it was none of her business and had nothing to do with Ramone, but she just had to go over and tell this girl off and now she is on crutches.  Furthermore, she can't afford to pay medical bills and has chosen to NOT see a doctor. 

I feel the need to just stay away as much as possible.  I just cant watch!

Ramone called me today because she wanted me to watch her dog this weekend so she can go to a music festival and sell some paintings....you know cause she is broke and needs money.  (she will be driving the car with a bad wheel across the state.)

I calmly told her that I already have two dogs and one of them is a handful so no I couldn't handle her dog too.  Her dog is untrained (jumps on people, lounges on the couch, wont stay in a kennel, etc.) and probably has fleas since her house is filthy and other dogs come and go all the time.  I didn't mention the flea issue cause I knew it would piss her off.

She then decided to call her dad and ask him to watch the dog.  Fifteen minutes later she was calling me back to rage about how her father is a dick and he totally yelled at her for even asking and she hung up on him and he DIDN'T call her back.  Oh the nerve of him!  She told me "normally he would be freaking out if I hung up on him and call me back right away."  I told her that he is married now and trying to keep his wife happy and he is not going to be the nice guy he used to be.  (As he has already shown by how he is treating Friss.)  She went on for a long time, cursing very loudly in my ear, it was very unpleasant but I tried to listen and validate her feelings.  I feel as her mother I should be supportive. It was hard....I just wanted to run away.

More and more she just seems so mean and selfish..........and stupid.

What's On Your Mind?

Just woke up and started coughing so I snuck out of the bedroom and into my office with a cup of tea.  Just took my "12 Hour Decongestant" and should feel ALIVE again as soon as it kicks in.

Since my brain is rather blurry I figured I'd just write about "What's on your mind?"; you know, the question that Facebook is constantly posing to everyone in the world. 

......Isn't Facebook one of the most amazing phenomenon's you can imagine?  It is both comforting and scary that at any moment, anyone, anywhere can share just about anything with someone else who is no where near then physically.  It's a miracle! or is it a curse?

BUT, on Facebook , you mostly only post the good stuff about your life.  You post a photo of your kid when they win an award, not when you go to pick them up at jail or when you bust them half naked making out with their boyfriend.  (Did I ever tell you that I think I caught Ramone and her BF having sex in my basement at me and JDK's wedding reception?) 

So right now I am going to "brain-dump" about what is on my mind and because it's my blog and not Facebook I get to say anything I want, even if it isn't nice or pretty.  HA!

Ramone is a train wreck and it is constantly eating away at my thoughts.  First problem is her car.  I bought her a new car last spring; it was May if I remember correctly.  She had basically used and abused her previous car to the point where it was not safe at all and it was constantly eating away at my thoughts that my daughter was out there delivering pizza's at midnight in a junker car that was probably going to be the death of her.  Well, now the "new to her" car is also all junked up.  Last weekend she and Monster went to visit Friss and yesterday when I saw Monster, I asked him how her car was.  He proceeded to tell me he was scared to ride in it because one wheel is ruined (wheel, not tire.  She hit a curb and dented it.) and that he bitched her out because it was so trashed up.  She is still delivering pizza's too.  She is just like her dad, she ruins or loses everything she owns.  It is like they can't help it.  They are completely incapable of taking good care of their belongings.  I can't buy her a new car every year so I am going to have to just hold my breathe and hope nothing bad happens to her.  It breaks my heart.

Second thing making me nuts about Ramone...WHY THE HELL CANT SHE GET A BETTER JOB?  She works 5 days a week (off work on Monday and Thursday) delivering pizza's from 4 pm until about 4 am.   Then she stays up after work partying with her friend until dawn and then sleeps until 1 pm (sometimes later) and gets up and does it all again.  She is a small girl, about 100 pounds and 5 feet tall and I do not think it is safe AT ALL for her to be out delivering pizza in the middle of the night.   I just know if she keeps it up something really bad is going to happen.  She loves her job though because she makes a lot of CASH money in tips.  Monster says they just blow all their tip money on booze and pot for their after work parties.  This is not the life I want for my daughter.

Which brings me to my next concern, money.  I know she is behind on her bills.  She told me that she is worried they might cut off her utilities.  (Monster says she is about $1000 behind.)  I don't jump up and offer to pay anything because I don't even have a job and quit honestly I know she will just slide back into being behind anyway.  It's not like she has fallen on hard times.  She has chosen to live in a shitty house with shitty people and does a shitty job at managing her money.  She goes to the food bank for free food because she has no money for groceries yet there is always plenty of booze at her hose, ALWAYS!

CRAP - I think I may throw up this medicine.  My stomach is rebelling.  CRAP

~~~~~~~~~ long pause as she runs to the bathroom ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm back.....not much came out.  My stomach is empty which is probably why the medicine is making me nauseous.  TMI...I know.  (actually that was probably my decongestant I puked and now I will need more....grumble)

So Ramone is living some teen age dream life where she has her own place and her friends come and go as they please and she can party anytime of the day or night.  I just sit back and watch thinking how sad it is and hoping she will come to her senses.  I just don't see how she is going to make it in life.  She isn't even smart enough to catch a man that will take care of her, which is about the only way I think she will ever have a decent life.  I mean she is intelligent...she made good grades in high school when she applied herself, yet the day to day living stuff is always over her head, just like her father. I know he has never figured out how to cope with bills and responsibility on his own but he did manage to marry (another) women who will take care of him which was smart of him.

Friss submitted a transfer request but the state employee he gave it to (as social worker?) won't turn it in.  He has been researching if there is anything he can do about it and he has determined that he can't.  Basically, there is no rule that says they have to turn in the transfer request if they get one.  So he is upset about it and trying to figure a work around.

Monster is doing pretty good.  He works as a cook at a well established Thai restaurant.  He works the lunch shift (9 am to 3pm) Monday through Saturday.  He usually goes to the gym before or after work and he is saving for a new car.  The transmission on his car shot craps some months ago but he manages to get around.  He seems fairly responsible but still I don't think he can be a cook for the rest of his life?

Both Monster and RAmone are still on their father's health insurance which is good.  Not sure what they will do when that runs out.  Obama-care I guess.

I talked to my younger brother on the phone a few days ago.  He is a mess too.  He recently purchased a fixer upper house and it is, of course, a nightmare.  Lucky he has the money to waste.    Have I told you about his girlfriend?  Surely I have.  She is a pathetic creature who has latched on to him and wants to be his wife.  He treats her like dirt and won't let her move in with him.  He says he wishes she would leave him alone yet he never breaks up with her.  Anyway, she needed a place to stay so he let her move into the fixer upper house!  He is still living in his rental house.  She of course sleeps at his house as much as possible and then he tells me it pisses him off because she is supposed to be at the fixer upper house to keep it safe.  He says he wants to live alone.  These two have been doing this BS for the last 5 years....maybe longer.  He bad talks her constantly.  She is nice as pie and sweet talks the family as hard as she can.  So wrong.

JDK has been nice lately.  He even gave me back a item I left behind and wanted.  I asked him for the $250 he owes me for the house sale and he said he would give it to me.  He has not.  No surprise there.  I knew he was just saying nice things but would not follow through.  Why did it take me so long to believe that he is who he is?

In other more trivial news, I hate the fact that new furniture is not real wood.  It is all made of wood, but it is glued together saw dust not a piece of wood that has been cut and stained and assembled.  AND if you want to get a piece of REAL wood it is crazy expensive.  I need a kitchen table and one that is made of REAL wood will cost me about $2000.00!  Are you freaking kidding me?  And the "real wood product" tables cost at least $800.  And I am talking about just a table.  Chairs would be even more.  I keep seeing chairs I love and they run from $150 each and up.  Jesus Christ when did everything get so expensive?

I better sign off and get these people out of bed and off to work and school.  Maybe I should eat something and take another pill?

A Mother's Fears Come True

Today.....both Ramone and Monster went and got this tattoo on their legs. 

I am just sick to my stomach over it.

Sick that they are doing permanent damage to their bodies....sick that they choose to spend their money this way.  Sick that next time they approach me and say "Mom...my car is broke down you have to help me out."  I am going to have to say "gosh...maybe you should have saved up for an emergency instead of spending so much money on a tattoo!"

Good Busy Weekend

I am so sick and tired of running alone that I got up Saturday morning at 4 am so I could meet some friends for a 5 am run.  However thanks to poor communication I was at the wrong starting location and ended up all by myself anyway.  It was dark and I was lonely and I could only manage to eke out a few miles before I decided to go home and get the dog. 

Once I got the dog, I “ran” six slow pathetic miles and it was all I could stand.  So my total for the day was only 8 ish miles.  NOT GOOD.  I have a half marathon on May 25^th and I need to get my act together.

Next I went to the office so I could work on our taxes.  My husband was self employed for part of 2012 and our taxes are a bitch.  I tried to finish them last Thursday evening but instead left the office in tears because nothing was going right.  We still owed $7000 and I was just overwhelmed.

As soon as I sat down to start working on the taxes again, Friss called so I ended up talking to him for the next hour.  As usual, he and I had a great talk.  We connect on a deep level and share almost all our intimate thoughts.  Being mom I obviously try not to talk about my sex life but other than that, we share EVERYTHING.  It is cathartic to be so open with someone and I really need it because right now, Friss and George are the only people I can “really” talk to.

Around noon I finally finished up our taxes and printed them out.  I owe all the credit to the large hazelnut latte from McDonalds!  I don’t think I would have made it without one.  We still owe $7000 but now I am confident that is correct and in fact, it was even MY fault.  Even better....I don’t care that we owe so much money because we are now done with the self employment income.  Next year our taxes will be easy and will be done by mid February.

On my way home, I swung by the ex husband’s house to pick up Ramone’s Polly Pocket toys for Beanie and to have him sign his state taxes that I should have mailed a month ago.  He was in a good mood because he now has the whole house to himself.  He said it is so peaceful.  Ramone moved her stuff to her apartment Friday night. 

This made me think….I have the time so I will stop by and see how her bedroom furniture fits in that tiny attic bedroom.  I had the presence of mind to call and warn her I was on my way.  I really wasn’t in the mood to be shocked and appalled by what I might find should I arrive unannounced.  (Which I used to do on purpose all the time when she was at home.)  When I got there, the place was kind of a pig sty and there was a boy asleep on the couch.  (At 1 pm.)  There were 3 other boys sitting on her bed watching a movie on her laptop.  She was cooking some pasta.

Looking for something to feel good about, I noted that the boys were all polite to me and the house didn’t reek like smoke, pot or cigarettes.  But still, I just felt sad that she was in a dumpy apartment with a bunch of worthless 18-20 year old boys hanging around.  You know what I mean.

As I left she requested I buy some metal rings for under the electric stove top burners.  She showed me the old ones and they were super gross.  I also noted she had her bathroom throw carpet in front of the kitchen sink and offered to buy her a proper mat to stand on while doing dishes.

Next stop was the grocery store where I purchased a bottle of (not cheap) wine to celebrate my income tax success and headed home.  I queued up Game of Thrones because I had dozed off Friday night while husband stayed up watching.  Once again I needed to catch up.  I often get behind because I do fall asleep early.  In my defense though, I get up early! 

It wasn’t long before Beanie returned home and we cuddled and took a nap together.  After dinner, Daddy and I watched more Game of Thrones.  It is the one thing we do together on a regular basis.  I rent a series from Netflix and after it gets dark outside we pile in bed together and watch it.  (We recently finished Downton Abbey which I highly recommend.)

Sunday morning I made everyone breakfast and Daddy put up the new temporary fence to divide the back yard into two separate areas.  He then spread grass seed all over the side that is to be the dogs. There is rain in the forecast for the rest of the week and he is hoping the grass will take hold.  I am not optimistic and have started pricing sod. 

Around 9 am Daddy went in to work and I took Beanie shopping.  First stop was Wally World where we got supplies for Ramone and purchased some cheap workout tops for Daddy.  He wears size small so I snatch them up if I find them.  Most stores do NOT even carry men’s small because most American men are so overweight.  I spent $50 and nothing was for ME.

Next stop was Kohl’s where we purchased 2 adorable dresses for Beanie; grand total $11 and some change.  SCORE

At noon Ramone came over to babysit so I could do a bike ride with “The Boys”.  I have an old group of cycling buddies who I am trying to network back in with for rides this summer.  These guys are a few years younger than me and darn good riders and right now, I can keep up.  If I continue to ride with them I will be smoking fast by the end of the summer!

We cycled a total of 32 miles at an average speed of 16.1 mph.  It was SUPER windy out so I was very pleased with the ride despite that fact that I may have forgotten to put on sun block and burned my arms a bit.  Oops.

Back home Beanie was really enjoying the new (used) toys and I cooked up some food to pack up for Daddy’s lunches.  After dinner, we went over to Uwe’s for a while.  It was nice to see him.  I just don’t see him much lately and that makes me sad.

Daddy didn’t get home until close to midnight because his boss has some deadline looming.  Poor guy worked all weekend.

Ramone in her apartment bedroom.  Good thing she is only 5 feet tall!

  

Apartment At 17!

Today I went over to see Ramone’s apartment.  The maintenance guy was there working, but I think the landlord already gave her a key.  The girls had moved a few things in but they are waiting on some new carpet before they really move in. I know the lease doesn’t start until May 1 so it all seems a bit loosy goosy in my mind but I think like an accountant.  As long as they maintain the property and respect the girls I guess I can’t complain.

So the house is OLD and run down but the maintenance guy Wes is working to fix a bunch of things.  He rebuilt the front porch and the large flight of steps up to the 2^nd story apartment that the girls are renting.  When I was there he was ripping out a nasty old plastic bath tub surround and he said he was going to put up some real tiles.  I hope he does a nice job.  The walls are plaster with some cracks but they are all freshly painted and don’t look that bad.  The floors are a bit uneven and there is no dishwasher, but it all seems to be clean enough.  I noticed they had no garbage disposal and Wes said he would put one in.  The windows all look out over the lower level roof so in case of a fire there are about 5 different ways to get out.

I emailed the landlord after I saw the place and told him it was nice.  I asked if he minded them starting to put stuff in there and he said no.  He lives about 30 minutes from here but told me Wes lives right across the street and gave me his phone number should we need anything.  They all seem real nice and helpful. 

At this point, my biggest concern is how dang hot that upstairs apartment will get this summer!!  I guess we will find out.

They are decorating in a sunflower motif which is great.  Being teenagers I’m sure they could have come up with something I totally didn’t approve of.

Ramone Wants Her Own Place

A few months ago Monster moved out of his dad’s house and in with a bunch of friends.  He is currently going to college, but as best I can tell has little interest in doing so.  I understand he wants to move out so he can feel like an adult but I also worry that he will need to work more hours to pay his bills and he will then spend even less time and energy on his lessons.  Also I am ticked off because his dad kind of tricked me into helping pay his rent (only $190/ month).  In the end I was hoping it would help alleviate the boy of some financial stress therefore helping him with school.  THEN he went and got a puppy.  I wanted to cut off the rent payment thinking “if you can afford a pet you can afford rent”.  But then I realized I didn’t have the energy to start a fight…..I just want the kid to get through college.

So….with all that animosity percolating in my head and heart on Thursday March 28^th Ramone announced she was also going to move out.  She and her best friend were going to start looking for a place to rent so they could move out as soon as they graduate from high school.  Of course I am opposed and not going to help her.  She views that as me not being supportive.   However, right now, she has no interest in going to college so let her get out and taste the real world and see how hard it is to live decent while working minimum wage jobs.  She will be 18 on May 23^rd which happens to be the day of graduation.

The first place they found was in a terribly dangerous part of town AND they wanted a co-signer.  I told I would NOT be cosigning a lease for her!  Also, that very day there was a shooting by the apartment they were interested in.  She decided to keep looking.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

A few days later, she comes up with an even better place.  This one is bigger, newer and in a better neighborhood.  She was excited and thought she could get her dad to co-sign for it.  When she told me where it was I was immediately thinking no way.  I quizzed her some more and she sent me a photo.  YES, it was the building that her older brother Friss had last lived in.  You know, the one I had to clean out because he was going to prison for a LONG time.  I told her she had to keep looking that I would not step foot in that place…it was making me sick to my stomach to even think about her living there.

And that little brat told me “well you don’t have to come in then”.  This was last Monday the 1^st and I spent the whole day feeling ill.  When I got home my sweet husband listened to me as I told him what was going on.  He was nice and offered me constructive advice. On Tuesday morning I called Ramone’s dad and talked to him.  I cautioned him to let her pay her own way that he should be frank about how he would help or not help.  He is a bit of a softy and the kids walk all over him.  (Ok he has no spine but I am trying to be nice.) I also reminded him that if he co-signed he was putting himself financially on the hook for her.  Later that day he told her he would not co-sign and she called me to bitch me out for telling her Dad not to sign.  My life is always a joy.  But, I was relieved that she would not be moving into that townhouse.

Finally today, she called and had found yet another place.  (I guess this is all they do in their spare time.)  This one is the upper floor of an old house that has been converted into apartments.  It is in a decent part of town and she knows the teens that rent the downstairs place.  They say the landlord is a good guy and he is not requiring a co-signer, just a verbal OK from the parents.  I plan to go see the place and review the lease early next week.  So far this option seems like it may work all the way around. I will keep you posted.

Teenagers Suck

Last Friday afternoon I had sat here at my desk thinking how nice it will be to finally have a nice quiet weekend at home.  No big road trips, no stressful parties, no big training plans or races.  Ok a very little race with Husband but really no big commitments.

Then around 4 pm things got derailed.  Ex-husband phoned to let me know that Ramone was in jail and to make it even worse, she was also 3 hours away from home!  She and a girlfriend had been road tripping to a music festival and got stopped for speeding; evidently, my daughter had some “magic” mushrooms in her possession.

Ex-husband told me he was going to go get her on Saturday morning so I offered to go along and to drive.  My car is more reliable than his and my head is certainly more level than his.  He is really neurotic at times.  He did not know a lot of details about what was going on but he did have the number of the sheriff’s office where she was being held so as soon as I got home from work, and had poured a glass of wine, I phoned to get the scoop.

The officer told me they were holding her for 24 hours and that at 3:10 pm on Saturday she would probably be released.  I told him we lived 3 hours away and he advised us to call at noon to see if she was for sure getting out before we drove all that way down there.  Other than that, he didn’t tell me much of anything but as best I could tell there was nothing I could do but wait until noon on Saturday and call back.

Husband and I spent the rest of the evening rearranging the kitchen and making a lounge/reading area at one end where the table used to take up a whole lot of space and rarely get used.  We moved the dining table to the middle of the room where we used to have an old table that was just a place to accumulate junk.

I found the chairs on Craigslist for $25 each. And the end table and coffee table had been in the basement.  I still need to buy an area rug and install a can light above the new kitchen table location.  But so far this makeover has been cheap and easy and I just LOVE it.  I wish I had done it years ago; it is so much more functional for us.

Saturday morning I needed to keep occupied so I worked on organizing my daughter’s clothes.  Her room was a disaster because the winter clothes had been dumped out and rooted through but had no place in the dresser to be stored. 

At 11 we went and did my husband’s little duathlon.  I had to run 2 miles and then he paddled 3.  We took second place.  I was pleased with my 16 minute time.  I did not warm up because I was distracted by neurotic ex-husband calling me to fuss out loud.  I finally got a bit testy with him and reminded him to settle down because we really had no information yet.

At noon I left the race and headed home to call the jail.  This time a female officer answered and she was not as nice as the man was last night.  She said she didn’t know anything and would not know anything until 3:10.  So ex-husband and I decided to just start driving that way.

As soon as I picked him up, he flopped the chair back and closed his eyes.  He told me he needed to relax.  I agreed and put in Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth book on tape; thought it may be just what he needed.  I know I didn’t want him yapping at me.

At 3:10 the girl called to say she was free.  We told her we were on our way but still an hour away so she would have to hang tight.  Her father relaxed a bit after that and he wasn’t so bad after all.  We talked about lots of topics and had a pleasant drive.  I was relieved.

We got there and found her waiting in front of the court house.  She was so happy to see us that she cried and hugged us both.  On the drive back she told us all about her experience and we offered up much parental advice.  Seems teens are more receptive to their parent’s ideas after they just spent the night in jail!  I sure hope she learns from this and it does not mess up her future.  They still have not formally charged her with anything.  She told us they had to get the lab results first.  I hope she falls through the cracks and we never hear from them again.  (Wishful thinking I know.)

It was around 8:30 when I finally arrived at home and Beanie was asleep which made me sad because I had really missed her.  Also, my back was killing me from spending the day in the car.  I HATE driving, especially at night.  I chatted with husband for a bit, he has been super sweet, and then I was soon asleep.

Sunday morning, I did my long run with Stina and told her the whole story.  She is such a good listener.  I felt much better after that.  Back home at 8 am Friss called and I had a really nice talk with him too.

The balance of the day was good; I hung out with Beanie and got lots of things done.   Still, Monday came way too fast and I never did get a chance to sit and read in my new lounge.

Monday

He went to work!  He could not be talked out of it.  I changed his bandages again this morning and dropped him off at his office.  He is a project manager/economist at the University so it is a sit down job, but still, I think he needs to rest more.  I wonder if he can even type.

Beanie woke up with pink eye so I had the fun task of getting her into see the doctor.    I needed to buy more gauze bandages for husband too.   Oh and I was way behind at work because Friday was a total loss.

Ramone had a dentist appointment at noon.  She did not answer her phone until 11:30 so I was climbing the wall all morning trying to get a hold of her.  When she did answer she told me I had woke her up and she would get to the dentist as fast as she could.  The dentist office then called me at 12:05 and said she wasn’t there!  I told them to call her.  Later in the day she advised me that she has 4 cavities.  Holy Hell teenagers are the pits!

I am already running out of steam here folks!

Happy 17th Birthday to Ramone

Ramone just finished up 11^th grade, so next year she will be a senior.  Today she turns 17.  This mom has mixed emotions (of course) as I watch my children becoming adults right before my eyes.

Ramone was my first baby girl (and my last or so I thought).  I was so happy to see her when she arrived; finally another girl in the house.

She was always a tiny little girl and I did my best to hold her ALL THE TIME.  I wanted to cherish every moment with this “last” one.

She was always very smart and had a style of her own….even as a toddler.

I let her hair grow long and it was beautiful. 

Later in school she would get lice and her grandma would cut all her hair off!

When she became a teen ager, her hair turned curly.  (I never knew that could happen.)  It is a nice loose curl that I would love to have.  She never liked it long or curly so this is a rare glimpse at her “real” hair.

In high school she continued to refine her style.  I just love this self portrait she took of her and her best friend.

This year she decided dreadlocks were going to be her thing.

And more recently she has adopted the colored dreadlocks.  (It’s not my favorite.)

For all her funkiness, she really is a good kid.  She makes good grades and excels at art.  She had some of her work feature in the annual art publication her high school publishes!

sculptures of her and her best friend

She also made the style page of the year book.

far left in long skirt

This summer she is attending a 2 week art camp that she received a scholarship to. 

I am very proud of her for having her dreams and working to make them a reality even if it makes me nervous sometimes.

Mother's Day

First let say that my expectations were low; I know that no one will make a fuss.  I know that my husband will not do anything extravagant and might do nothing at all.

So this is how my day went:

I got up and did my normal Sunday morning trail run.  I usually run a 5.5 mile loop and most everyone else does an 8 mile loop across the street but today, me and Uwe decided to follow the big kids into the woods so we could explore the longer trail.  That was fun and even though my legs were tired from running 13 miles yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised at how well I ran about 5 miles on single track.  Hanging with Uwe was fun too.

Next I headed to the grocery store to buy something special for my mother’s day lunch.  I picked up a few steaks, some veggies to cut up and dip in humus and a big container of some dynamite looking fresh strawberries.  And I got some asparagus to grill.  All favorites of mine since it’s my celebration lunch.

On the way home from the grocery store I decided to stop by Target real fast and see if they had some swim suits I was interested in.  Once I got in the store, the swim suits were on two different racks and really picked over so I tried on this and that and then looked for more stuff and before I knew it, I had burned a whole hour.  I finally bought a bunch and decided to return some later when I could think better.

Now I am behind schedule so I race home to shower and prepare lunch.  We were to start the party at 11:30 since Monster had to be at work by 3.   When I got home, everyone was hungry so I skipped my shower and quickly got the veggie tray out and we devoured it in no time.  Then I opened some wine (my party) and asked if anyone wanted some.  Husband turned me down because he was going to the gym later in the afternoon.  (By the way he was miffed that his “me time” would not kick in until after the mother’s day party, sometime in the afternoon.)  

Next we opened gifts and cards.  Daddy had been nice enough to take Beanie to the store to pick out a card.  It was a pretty purple card with lots of sparkles on it.  He admitted that she had picked it all by herself based on color.  (smile)   Monster and Bean made me a couple of cards that were so sweet because they were hand made with love. 

Ramone surprised me with an amazing “reproduction” of a piece of art I have wanted for years.  I was thrilled.  Highlight of the day.  Yes she painted it all by herself.



Husband grilled my steaks for me and I never complained that I had to buy them myself.  They were good, but not as good as I had hoped.  (Maybe I just need to go out for a good steak.)  The big kids all gobbled up the food and then quickly came up with reasons they needed to leave.  I was a bit disappointed that they did not hang out longer.  They are always at work, school, or with friend so I don’t see much of them at all these days.

The rest of the day was nap time and house work and nothing out of the ordinary.  When later asked by a friend, I rated my day a B.  I gave it an A for Zoe’s art work and C for not a long enough party which averaged out to a B.

Later I was reading blogs and most people were telling how they were either spoiled and had a great day or let down by the lack of thought their husbands had put into it.  I suppose I don’t fall into either of these categories due to having no expectations.  But I also have to ask, at what point does having no expectations make a relationship pointless.  If I have no expectations I could marry anyone and they could do anything and I would be fine with that?  That doesn’t make sense to me.

All in all, I guess I would love to have a husband that would make at least a little fuss over me once in a while.  But, overall, I was glad he put off his me time, made an effort to be sociable and even took Beanie to buy a special card.

PS - I DO wish he would have gotten me some good chocolates.  That would have hit the spot!

Prom

Today Ramone accompanied her friend Andrea to prom.

I really like her dress.....but I'm not a huge fan of the hair.

I think Ramone does a nice job with her makeup.